with Guest Jennifer Farley of
The Mind Body Circle
Full transcription available at the bottom of this post
When You're More Than Just Tired
Stress, fatigue, overwhelm; we can't talk about true lasting health and wellness without addressing these drains on our energy and happiness.
In this episode I'm so pleased to introduce you to my friend and fellow coach Jennifer Farley of the Mind Body Circle.
As a certified coach, Jennifer helps her clients improve both their lifestyle and thought habits, because, like me, she believes you MUST address the mind and body together! Prior to coaching, she worked for over a decade as a recipe developer, food photographer and cookbook author, freelancing for outlets including The Washington Post, Better Homes & Gardens and Parade Magazine. After many years of working with life and wellness coaches on her own chronic health struggles she decided it was time that she pivoted to helping women the ways she had been helped.
Together we're going to walk you through what's REALLY behind your fatigue (hint: it's more than the obvious stuff) and what you can start doing about it!
PS. If anything in this episode resonated with you, then share the LOVE! Head to iTunes and subscribe and leave a written review or post a screenshot of this episode in your stories and tag me @tarafaulmann
Want more from Special Guest & Coach Jennifer Farley?! Find her HERE:
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Show Notes & Transcript:
Tara Faulmann 00:00
Welcome back my friends do you ever feel more than tired like fatigued? Yep, stress and overwhelm and tiredness are all contributing factors to you feeling fatigued and we can't talk about true lasting health and wellness unless we address all those drains on our energy and our happiness. In this episode, I'm so excited to introduce you to my friend and fellow coach Jennifer Farley of the Mind Body circle. Together, we're gonna walk through what's really behind your fatigue. It's more than you think it is, and what you can start doing about it. Jennifer is a certified coach and she helps her clients improve both their lifestyle and their thought habits because, like me, she believes that you have to address the mind and body together. Before she was a coach. She worked over a decade as a recipe developer, a food photographer, and a cookbook author and she also did freelancing for things like Washington Post and Better Homes and Gardens. After many years of working with her own life and wellness coaches on her own chronic health struggles, she decided it was time that she pivoted to help women the way that she had been helped. I'm excited for you guys to meet her today and hear what she has to say about fixing your fatigue. Let's go.
Tara Faulmann 01:22
Welcome back to the no nonsense wellness podcast, the place for women who are trying to do all the things and stay healthy, sane and actually enjoy life in the process. Hey, I'm Tara, a trained therapist, a life coach, a nutrition coach and a fitness instructor. And I'm on a mission to help you take back control of your mind health and life. Each week, I'll be cutting through the nonsense and getting real with you. I'll bring you the insight and information you need to take control of your weight and health. Find food freedom. And finally break free from the thoughts that are sabotaging you and holding you back. You, my friend are powerful, and the world needs you to start showing up in a bigger way. It's time to get unstuck and start moving forward. So let's pop in those earbuds, tie up those shoes. Let's walk and talk.
Tara Faulmann 02:25
Welcome back, my friends. I have Jennifer Farley here of Jennifer Farley, coaching and the mind body circle. I'm so excited to have you here. Jennifer, thank you for being here.
Jennifer Farley 02:34
Thank you for having me.
Tara Faulmann 02:36
I just love we've had a few conversations. And one of the things that you'll find out really quickly about Jennifer is that she's also a health and wellness coach. And I feel like we share a brain on a lot of things. We have a lot of the same ideas and a lot of the same perspectives, which I think is really fun. So I think this is gonna be a really fun episode for us to record right now. So Jennifer, why don't you tell us a little bit about what you're doing right now what your coaching looks like and how you got here.
Jennifer Farley 03:02
I focus on helping women feel more vibrant. I started you know, I was going through this. And then I was talking to a lot of friends and just acquaintances who are going through feeling kind of gray in their life. I think the pandemic really exacerbated this just not feeling not feeling good, not feeling happy, not feeling physically well feeling tired, feeling achy. And I trained at AIPAC and got certified as a coach during the pandemic I was. So I became so passionate about coaching that I decided to do a career shift. And this just sort of became the direction that things naturally went into it felt very organic. And so I help women focus on their mind body health, understanding how the mind and the body work together to sort of create these cycles that get us trapped in that feeling well and to help them and feel better.
Tara Faulmann 04:08
Now you before you were coaching though, you were you were a chef. Yes, you went to culinary school.
Jennifer Farley 04:14
I was I graduated from culinary school in 2010. And I worked in restaurants for a while I kind of always knew I didn't want to do that. I just knew I wanted to work in the food industry. And I pivoted to I still you know, it's funny as I started the food blog while I was at school, because I just wanted to talk about food and that was before food. Blogging became a thing and I was still sort of trying to figure out my place in the industry when suddenly food blogging exploded and I was like, I can make money at this. Who know Right? So I started food blogging, and then I started doing freelance writing for food publications, food photography. I wrote a cookbook in 2016 with Simon and Schuster called the gourmet Kitchen. It was a wild ride. It was a lot of fun. Yeah,
Tara Faulmann 05:02
that's awesome. To me. It seems like a natural progression to move from food to health and then health to health coaching. But what what did that look like for you? How did that happen?
Jennifer Farley 05:14
It was it's really interesting how it happened because it happened because of sugar. And it happened because of other things too. But when I was a culinary school, we would have to cook a three course French meal every single day. So we had dessert for lunch every single day, I was never a sweets person, by the end of school. I love sugar. And then I put myself into a career where I was baking cupcakes and cakes and homemade ice cream and doing all this stuff. And it really did start impacting my health tremendously. And you know, there were there were other reasons that I ended up switching away from it. But that was that was I, I grew. I still love baking, but I really wanted to be more in the Healthy Cooking sphere. And that is not the brand that I had developed for myself.
Tara Faulmann 06:10
Uh huh. Yeah, that needed a major rebrand, or I like how you boil it down to one thing, sugar I had to change. Yeah, sugar is.
Jennifer Farley 06:21
It's quite, it's quite a drug.
Tara Faulmann 06:23
It's sneaky. It's real sneaky. Because it's one of those things that you feel like it's fine, I'm fine. But if you really step back and get perspective, you might see maybe you're not as fine as we thought.
Jennifer Farley 06:37
Yeah, yeah, it really impacts you know, impacts the same dopamine parts of your brain that cocaine do. So on one level, it's just kind of not good for your natural rhythms. And then it's just it's not good for your gut. It's not good for, you know, glucose spikes are Yeah, associated with all these different health issues now, so terrible
Tara Faulmann 07:01
for inflammation, which is like at the root of everything. That's bad. Yeah. Yeah. Sugar is a tough one. And sugar. I like you said it is a drug like chemically, it acts like a drug, which makes it really hard to quit. And then you've got all these foods that are engineered to be highly addictive, because of the sugars and the fats and the chemicals they use. It's just like they're getting it from all angles. But
Jennifer Farley 07:24
knowledge is power. Right? That's why we're here. Yeah, absolutely. And that's actually one of my favorite topics, too. I can go on and on on that. It's just it's so food is fascinating. To me. That's one thing that really is stayed with me through both careers. I just, I love it. I I'm trying to redefine it for myself, because I also really don't like putting foods into the good in the bad category. And now I tried to think of like more nutritious, less, less nutritious. But it just, it's interesting. It's really interesting and fun to dig into that stuff.
Tara Faulmann 07:58
Yeah, well, and it's never ending. It's always changing. Because there's so much bad food advice out there. And there's so many. I swear in the same day, I saw vegetables are good, and you'll live longer, and vegetables are terrible, and they will kill you. Like what are we supposed to do with this? Ah,
Jennifer Farley 08:16
I could go on I've so many opinions. Well, my biggest opinion about that is that anybody who tells you that there's one way to do something should be
Tara Faulmann 08:29
no word. I agree. That's a good way to boil it down.
Jennifer Farley 08:32
That boils it down. Because at the end of the day, my body works differently than your body. And what makes me feel good might make you feel horrible and vice versa. So vegetables may
Tara Faulmann 08:41
come in on different days or different times in your own life, your body is going to work differently with different foods,
Jennifer Farley 08:47
right? I know someone who has transformed her life with the carnivore diet, she she had all these health issues, and they all went away. I am so happy for her. I could never do that. And I feel horrible when I have a lot of meat and not a lot of vegetables. So I sort of feel like that about everything. It's the it really it's about listening to your body.
Tara Faulmann 09:11
Yep. And you have to learning how to listen to your body is a process to learn. Well, we did have a topic for today and the topic is fatigue, but I think sugar plays into the topic of fatigue hugely. So what are we let's let's go there then let's talk about that part. Should we start with sugar and fatigue?
Jennifer Farley 09:32
Yeah, yeah. Student fatigue. Let's go there. One of the there's so many different directions to go in that but the first one that pops into my mind is it gives you a ration and a crash. Yeah, you know, from from a from a glucose perspective from spiking your insulin, and then coming down. There's this really fascinating Instagram I follow called glucose goddess and she does all of these tests. where she shows how, how bodies react to well she casts on her own body. But she shows like how her body reacts if she does sugar versus bread versus sugar before bread, like not just sugar, but it's really interesting to see. So then that causes fatigue. The other part of that is that I was listening to this doctor speak recently about brain health. And he was talking about the happy hormones like dopamine and serotonin. And he was saying that our society right now between the refined foods that we eat and social media, he basically said he had a he had a much more elegant way of saying it that we're getting kind of bombarded with like a river, a waterfall of dopamine all the time, and we should be tiny little drips of it.
Tara Faulmann 10:55
Uh huh. Yep. And then the lack of it is very telling, like, it's, it's when you have so much of it, and then it's then you just like, Well, I'm gonna quit this, I'm gonna quit this food, or I'm gonna quit this sugar. And then the lack of that, is feels more. Does that make sense?
Jennifer Farley 11:14
Absolutely, absolutely. That I mean, and that is kind of the fatigue. Yeah, you know, there's there's different kinds of fatigues. But one of them is just feeling that slump and wanting to feel good. And knowing that sugar gives you that little burst of that, you know that going for a job might, but it's
Tara Faulmann 11:37
so easy, just shutting your mouth. And it's so available. Right? That's we talk about sleep a lot here and sleep when it's just the same thing when you're tired, right? Why is it that you crave the quick carbohydrates and the sugar? It's because of that it's because of that blood sugar spike, it's because it temporarily gives you some brain relief gives you some physical relief. Problem is it doesn't last and it's more detrimental than helpful in the long run. So what else should we know about fatigue? What you talk about different types of fatigue? And I love this, because it's very comprehensive way to look at it. Yeah, well, we
Jennifer Farley 12:13
use fatigue as a word that is actually can be divided into a lot of different things. I mean, we all think of it, I think in terms of physical exhaustion, you know, we didn't sleep well. So we're fatigued, we're getting over an illness. With some people, it might mean it might come from too much physical activity. So there's physical fatigue. There's also mental fatigue, which is, you know, we're really fresh in the morning after we've rested. And we slowly have to make all these decisions through the day and our brain gets more and more tired. And that's why by the end of the day, we can't think and by 3pm, we want coffee. So that's kind of mental fatigue. Yep. And then social fatigue is, you know, that's when you think of introverts and extroverts, you know, if I'm tend to lean more introverted, so if I go to a party, or I go to a networking conference over the weekend, I am so fatigued Yeah, afterwards, I just want to sleep whereas some people have gotten completely energized from it. And then the last one is emotional fatigue, or compassion, fatigue, that is one that I really relate to as well. I'm a very empathetic person, and I get very sucked into other people's problems, especially when they're people that I care about deeply. And that in that cannot often cause us to suppress our emotions. Yeah, that leads to that leads to fatigue, or a lot of times, sometimes we just throw up our hands and we don't know what to do. We feel like we're not helping enough and we just feel exhausted.
Tara Faulmann 13:59
I think that's one. I think that's one of the biggest traps that women get caught in that they don't realize they've gotten caught in where they're experiencing fatigue, but they don't have the words or the experience to say that it is emotional fatigue, but it is I don't I think so many women don't realize that that I bet there's women listening right now, whoever you are, I hope you hear this. It's emotional fatigue. You are feeling right now that is what this is. So let's start there because I think of all of them. That's the one people are probably the least aware of, but it being experiencing the most well, how do we what does that feel like? What does that look like? How does that happen?
Jennifer Farley 14:40
It I think it's going to manifest a little bit differently depending on the situation. You know, for me, I I can really feel people's energy when they're angry or upset. I always kind of shrink down and I feel like I can't think clearly. And so that's that's a big way that it shows up for me. And, you know, one of the things that I've done to try to offset a little bit for that, that I think a lot of us are not, we're not raised as women to do is put up boundaries. Yeah. Now, there's this line that I love, which is Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. And we're the nurturers. That's our that's kind of what we're the moms were the caretakers. And so, you know, we tend to think of it as our as our job to take care of people. And we're people too. And we also need to take care of ourselves.
Tara Faulmann 15:46
Yep, I think too, I was just thinking, as you were saying that some women sort of shut down in emotional fatigue and need to just draw back. But some women, me being one of those, I show emotional fatigue through anger, I get angry or frustrated, or like, I will snap at someone or usually my children, or I just get real short. And that that's usually my sign that you've had enough, Tara, you need to just you need to take care of yourself for a second here. So there's different ways I think that it can show up. So if you are their mom, if you find yourself snapping, or lashing out a little bit, and you're like, dang it, why did I do that? It's probably emotional fatigue, and you need a little bit of self care.
Jennifer Farley 16:32
Absolutely. I think part of the reason that we tend not to do that is because we feel like we're being selfish if we don't give everything that we can to help you know, our children or loved ones or friends in the moment. But one of the things that can be helpful to remember when that's going on is that if we let ourselves get overwhelmed and fatigued, we show up we don't show up as the best version of ourselves at that moment when they need us. So by setting those boundaries with our time and our emotion, we are we do better in the time that we do spend with them, and we do help them
Tara Faulmann 17:18
totally agree. When you talk about self care, what are the things that you talk about?
Jennifer Farley 17:22
I talk I think of self care differently in some ways than a lot of people now i i Love on massage
Tara Faulmann 17:32
fire, who definitely take that if I can get it. Yeah, I love tea, I
Jennifer Farley 17:39
love the bath. I love all that stuff. That's sort of traditionally considered self care. But I also think of self care as tough love sometimes, Okay, interesting. He will end in this way. I don't mean and of being mean to myself kind of way I mean, in a not having the sugar kind of way,
Tara Faulmann 18:03
not to eating into features that you think are gonna make it worse, or that you know, will make it worse,
Jennifer Farley 18:09
right, not feeding into things that drain my energy, but, but prioritizing things that generate energy, you know, I know if I eat the vegetables, I'm going to feel better than if I am the burger. And sometimes in that moment, you want the burger and you know what, I have the burger plenty of times, I don't want it, let's say like, you know, that's the those needs and, you know, but sometimes self care is sort of taken care of, for me, it's taken care of future Gen, you know, it's what's going to nurture my body and my brain. Yeah.
Tara Faulmann 18:47
Such a good point. Self care really is all of those little choices that you're making all the time. It really is you're right. And I was just while you were talking about the burger. I was thinking, you know, the the food connection, again, your ability to manage your own emotions, does have to do with the food that you're feeding your body. They are connected, your gut is connected to your brain. Those two things work together. So yes, self care is eating the better food for you. Yeah, yeah, that's such a good point. Thank you for that. That's so great. Yeah, a lot of times
Jennifer Farley 19:24
for me, it's exercise too, because if I, you know, especially if I fall out of the habit, even when I'm in the habit, one of the things I tried to do regularly is strength training, because I just, it's good for us as we age, it's good for a lot of reasons. And no matter how much I do it, I can't say that I enjoy it. Particularly there's other types of exercises. I do enjoy, but I know that it's good for me. And so it's the same thing. Self Care.
Tara Faulmann 19:53
Hmm, yeah, and you're so right. Self Care does often involve a little bit of tough love making your Do the thing that you don't maybe want to do in the moment, but you know, it's the right thing to do for you and for future self.
Jennifer Farley 20:07
And I also think that a way to sort of reframe it to is, its boundaries with ourselves, you know, we were just talking about setting boundaries with other people to protect our energy. This is setting a boundary with that primal version of our brain just wants to do the other things. And it's a boundary. Yeah, yeah. And to be able to say, like, Yes, I
Tara Faulmann 20:32
hear you. But no, that's not the choice I'm going to make. And here's why. One of the things I know that we have talked about is the mental fatigue. So along with the emotional fatigue, the mental fatigue, let's talk about that for a sec.
Jennifer Farley 20:47
Tara Faulmann 20:48
Yeah. They will not be surprised this audience to hear you talk about decision fatigue, that is something that we talk about for sure. So let's go there, because it's a big deal.
Jennifer Farley 21:00
decision fatigue, I said this to you before, it is one of my favorite topics. When I started learning about it, and my jaw was on the floor, I was fascinated, because I was like, That's me.
Tara Faulmann 21:14
Yeah, that's everyone. Everybody. Yeah, we don't,
Jennifer Farley 21:18
we don't realize that we're making 1000s of unconscious decisions every day, you know, even like, the example that really stuck with me is going to the grocery store, you know, when you're you have the list that you're going to but every single thing in your peripheral vision that you're walking by is a decision that you're saying, no, no, no, no. No.
Tara Faulmann 21:44
And so and it's not even like the frontal part of your brain. That's it's your it's the back part right of your brain that is inputting all of these things and making the decisions for you. But it's doing it all day long.
Jennifer Farley 21:56
Mm hm. And it really adds up. I mean, that's the reason that in the morning, we start the day, and we think about all the things that we're going to accomplish and our to do list. And by the evening, it's like, let's get Uber Eats.
Tara Faulmann 22:14
Yeah, I'm over it. I'm over it. Because mentally you are over it, your brain wants to just turn off, you're done now. What do you talk about? What do you talk about for overcoming decision fatigue? What are the kinds of things that you teach and talk about?
Jennifer Farley 22:33
My favorite? Several things, the one that I like the most is automation. You know, where can you make fewer decisions in your life. And that looks very different for different people. You know, for some people that can mean delivery groceries and a cleaning service. But obviously, everybody can't do that. So it might mean, auto pay on your bills, it can mean putting out your clothes the night before. So you don't have to figure it out in the morning.
Tara Faulmann 23:08
When packing your lunch the night before. Yeah,
Jennifer Farley 23:11
be meal prepping. That you and I love to do ingredient prepping. Because sometimes meal prepping feels like a real chore I do it. But saying, Okay, I'm just going to roast a whole bunch of vegetables and some tofu, you know, then I just throw it together in the middle of the day for lunch instead of having to go What am I going to make?
Tara Faulmann 23:33
Yeah, it's standing there just fridge staring at it all the day. Yeah.
Jennifer Farley 23:37
Right. Because every time and every time that we think about whether we should do something, or we should do something, or putting something off, that that really fatigues our brain, so working on reducing, overthinking and fear of making a mistake. Those are all decisions. Yeah.
Tara Faulmann 24:01
And I think about all of the things that we wouldn't traditionally think of as decision. So like just the running circle of thoughts in your brain, right? But all of that is causing decision fatigue, too, because you're constantly Oh, well, you were having this conversation in your head in the shower, what you wish you would have said to this person, and what you're going to say to your boss tomorrow, when you call them and how this is going to go and how that's going right? We are constantly running these circles in our head. All of that leads to decision fatigue. Yes.
Jennifer Farley 24:31
Tara Faulmann 24:33
I'm exhausted just saying all.
Jennifer Farley 24:36
I'm thinking about how much I'm spinning stuff all the time. You know, no matter how much I work on this stuff, my brain is just very active. Yeah.
Tara Faulmann 24:45
Do you teach any specific things to shut down the brain to like, calm it down? Or like your go to stuff?
Jennifer Farley 24:53
I like a lot of the classic stuff like like meditation. One of the weird things I've been doing And lately is I, whenever I'm driving somewhere, I, I turn off the music or the radio or whatever I might normally listen to. So I can just focus on what I'm looking at. Because in the car, we go into autopilot, and we don't even notice that we're like, how did I get here, you know, just sort of like, all this time passes. So I find that when you're in the car, that's a really good time to practice mindfulness and being presence. The other thing that I've been working on for I've been working with a somatic therapist for a couple of years now. And I this is actually something I would love to get some training in at some point, because it's fascinating to me, I ended up I ended up working with this, this woman on a on a whim, one of my friends told me about her. And I was like, That sounds interesting. I'll try it. And instead of being talk therapy, which is what we're all used to, it is almost body therapy. It's talking a little bit about the at the beginning about what's going on with you. And then noticing how it feels in your body sitting with it, watching how it shifts and changes, checking in with your thoughts going back into your body. So it's kind of like this active meditation. And when I do a session with her, I'm doing it for 15 minutes. And if I'm by myself, I'm not going to do it for 15 minutes, but I might set a timer sometimes on my phone for three minutes. And just, I can just what's the tension? What's the what's the color, what's the you know, and I find that's a really good way to get out of my head. Long story I
Tara Faulmann 26:47
didn't actually know, I don't think I knew that somatic therapy was a thing. But that is what we teach here is how to feel your feelings. That's how you feel your feelings because your feelings end up in your body. And if you if you are having trouble analyzing them, or thinking about them consciously, going to your body to find them and seeing what it feels like physically, is so useful. But just like you just said, you have to be able to get quiet enough to do that.
Jennifer Farley 27:17
And that's a challenge. You know, when I'm in the middle of doing stuff, and I feel myself getting really tense or whatever, it can be hard to pause and do that. But that's another perfect example of self care.
Tara Faulmann 27:32
Yeah, self care getting quiet enough to check in.
Jennifer Farley 27:36
And somatic it's also called somatic experiencing. And I this is exactly what it sounds like you're talking about with feeling your feelings. If you don't notice your physical feelings, they stay. Yeah, it's like pushing a beach ball under water, eventually, it's going to explode. But if you sit with that, in sort of let it boil up, it kind of they kind of it's like you have a balloon and you're slowly spitting air out of it, and you're so lating it and it will release some of that pent up energy that creates fatigue.
Tara Faulmann 28:11
Yes. Okay, I'm so glad you said that. Because that's such an important part. That pent up, anything pent up emotion in general, is going to cause that emotional, what feels like physical fatigue, but was actually emotional fatigue. It's all related. It's all related. That's why I love that we always talk about mind body because you really can't separate the two, they are always working together.
Jennifer Farley 28:35
It's fascinating. It's fascinating to notice how we're all in these cycles, because all these different things called cause fatigue. And then fatigue causes all these other things that cause fatigue. And it's a cycle and you can break it, but you there has to be awareness.
Tara Faulmann 28:51
Yeah, that's probably step one, right? Just awareness that there is a problem. This is not working for you. What else would you what would be another way to deal with just fatigue in general, what's kind of one of the things that you would tell people to do?
Jennifer Farley 29:07
One of the things that I like to tell people to do is focusing on the basics, which is really annoying. You know, we all know that we feel better. If we get more sleep, and we drink more water and we exercise and we eat good food.
Tara Faulmann 29:24
But the our audience is laughing right now, by the way, because I'm like a broken record with those things. Yeah, go on. Please tell them that gets reinforcement for what I tell them. Everyone's like, I
Jennifer Farley 29:34
know I know. The reframe that I like around it but does seem to resonate with people a little more is instead of thinking it, thinking of them as these annoying things that we know we should do but we don't feel like doing. Think of them in terms of what generates energy and what drains energy. because most of those things will generate energy. And if you desperately want your fatigue to go away, how badly do you want your fatigue to go away. And if you think about it as like, Oh, this is this annoying thing that I should do, you're not gonna want to do the thing. But if you're if your focus is on, I want to feel better, I want more energy, than maybe you're going to be more likely to go for that walk or water because yeah, he tends low, more fatigued, we tend to do things that drain our energy. You know, that's when we want the sugary treats, or we want to stare at social media or sit on the couch and those further fatigue is
Tara Faulmann 30:46
that was put so perfectly. I love that that was great. Thank you for that, to be able to see it not as an annoying thing that you have to do. But as the things that are going to create the energy that are going to get you out of the hole that you're in,
Jennifer Farley 31:03
right, it's really about how you perceive the situation. I mean, it's like a classic coaching.
Tara Faulmann 31:11
Uh huh. I love that. That's so great. I love a good reframe, man. That's perfect. And so yes, the basics are as usual, right? Drink your water, get your sleep, move your body, eat good food,
Jennifer Farley 31:24
and manage stress, manage stress the other big one. It's another thing in the moment that feels annoying. Like, yes, I know. I know, that I'm stressed. And I know I'm anxious. But that's just how it is. And it's really easy in the moments that we're especially that we're feeling stressed to sort of blame everyone else. Yeah, and our situation circumstances and giving away our control and disempowering ourselves.
Tara Faulmann 31:53
And I think people should know, too, that don't misunderstand, like, even though the even though we're the coaches, right? We still in the moment might have the reaction of like, oh, I don't want, right, we, we've just gotten really good at overcoming that initial reaction so that we go do the thing. It's not going to say that that first reaction of not wanting to do it's ever gonna go away entirely. But you'll get really good at ignoring that and just doing it anyway,
Jennifer Farley 32:22
I think. Yes. And I think that one of the things I like to say to people is I'm really good at coaching other people. And it's really hard to coach myself a lot of times, so I'm, you know, I will catch myself doing the things that I'm trying to help other people not to, because that's we're humans. Yeah, that's, that's just natural. Yeah,
Tara Faulmann 32:51
no one's ever perfect. We're never gonna get this totally down. But if you can get it down most of the time, you're winning.
Jennifer Farley 32:57
Absolutely. And raising awareness is sort of that huge number one step, because I wouldn't even notice that I wasn't showing up the way I want to show up if I didn't have that initial awareness. So I think even when I don't show up the way that I want to show up, seeing what happens afterwards, and sort of acknowledging it and accepting it and forgiving it and moving on gives me the opportunity to learn to grow to make a different choice next time.
Tara Faulmann 33:29
Perfectly put, because you took that whole guilt shame piece right out of the wind right out. We don't need, it's not serving you. Yeah, so because what I heard you say is that instead of the guilt, shame of like, why am I like those? I did it again. Well, instead you say, Oh, there she is, again, but we're gonna choose something else. And I'm gonna forgive myself for making that choice. I'm gonna make better choices now.
Jennifer Farley 33:53
Everything's an opportunity to grow. Hmm. Yep. Couldn't agree more failure. Yeah, there's lessons. You know,
Tara Faulmann 34:01
it's either lessons or growth or both. Yep, I totally agree. I love that. Okay. So in terms of fatigue, we talked about making sure you're getting the energy creating basics. And we talked about creating awareness for yourself of the things that might be draining the social situations, the emotional system situations, the circular running thoughts in your head, being able to see Yeah, being able to see things a little bit differently.
Jennifer Farley 34:29
That's all really mindset shifting work, because that is stress management. And so you know, when we were going through those basics, the most complex one in a way is managing stress and managing stress really comes down to reframes and mindset shifting. Yeah,
Tara Faulmann 34:48
I agree. That is, has to be the first step because you won't do anything unless you do that first. Right. If you had one tip for helping We always talk about here trying to be your own self coach, right? How to Self coach, if you had a tip for someone to do that to be a better reframe or to be a better noticer of the things that are going on that might be fatiguing them, what what kind of advice would you give for that?
Jennifer Farley 35:16
I think the biggest one, and there's so many different directions to go in there. But the biggest one is to look at situations from a place of curiosity, and instead of judgment. Now, we tend to be our own worst critics, we talk to ourselves in a way that we would never talk to our friends. You can sort of step outside your situation and go, Why am I feeling this way? Why did I do that thing I said I wasn't going to do but not why in an accusatory way, just in a real? Why am I like this? Why, like, what's going on? What was going on there? You know, what do you what do I need right now? What's what's coming up? For me? What's it, you know, being very loving and neutral about it, and getting getting the, you know, being aware of the all or nothing thinking? You know, I did something bad? I never do what I say I'm gonna do like, just, yeah, taking that out of the equation, because that's not helping and so good. Yeah. And it really helps with in relationship dynamics as well. And that's certainly a cause of stress for a lot of people. You know, be curious, we're so judgy about other people, you know, and other situations, and you know, it's pulling back for a second pushing the pause button and going, what might they be thinking right now? What might their perspective be? You know, practicing that on other people can actually be really beneficial because it helps you practice it on yourself.
Tara Faulmann 36:58
Yep. And your relationship improves in the process. When, when? That's a great idea. I know that there are some women who listened, who are like, I heard that and just the way I needed to hear that today. And that was one thing that I just love about doing this podcast, and I love bringing people like you on here. It's sometimes you just need to hear the thing in the way that resonates with you right then. And I know that happened today for some women's where can they get a hold of you? If they want to hear more from you? They want to learn more from you. What should they do?
Jennifer Farley 37:29
You anybody out there who wants to learn more can find me at the mind body circle.com Or on instagram.com/the Mind Body circle.
Tara Faulmann 37:42
Okay, Mind Body circle, and we will have all those links for you guys as well. And I know one thing that Jennifer does, sometimes is actually teach a class on fatigue. So make sure that you connect with her Do you have like a newsletter or email that they could get on, I have
Jennifer Farley 37:59
an email list that you can find at the bottom of my websites, and there will be newsletters soon.
Tara Faulmann 38:07
Perfect. So if you want to hear more from her and just keep updated on what she's got coming out and going on, then make sure to head to mind, the mind body circle.com Get on that list and get a hold of her and reach out. I love talking to other coaches. I love bringing coaches on here. So thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and experience with us. So helpful. Just so helpful. Thank you so much.
Jennifer Farley 38:34
Thank you so much for having me on. This is such a fun conversation to have. I think a lot of my friends and family get tired of me blathering on about it. So it's really exciting to talk to someone else who's excited who speaks
Tara Faulmann 38:46
the same language. Right? Well, we're definitely going to do this again. All right, Jennifer, thank you so much until we talk again.
Jennifer Farley 38:54
Thank you so much.
Tara Faulmann 39:04
Hey, friends, thanks so much for being here. If you found value in today's episode, will you do me a favor and head over to iTunes? Find the no nonsense wellness podcast and subscribe and leave me a review. It would mean the world to me and help other people find the show. And I'd love to connect with you more. So find me on Instagram. I'm @tarafaulmann. Take a screenshot of this episode and share it in your stories and tag me. I'll see you over there.