3 Steps to a New Years Resolution
You'll Actually Stick To
Full transcription available at the bottom of this post
Success in 2023
Imagine this: 2023 is the LAST time you have to lose the weight, the LAST time you feel crappy and tired all day, the LAST time you emotionally eat, the LAST time you give in to all your cravings, the LAST time you look in the mirror and hate what you see.
In general, I'm not a fan of New Years Resolutions, in large part because about 91% of people have given up on them before January is even over. I AM however in favor of self-reflection, goal setting, and thinking BIG at the turn of the year. I want this year to be YOUR year! The year you move forward, the year you make progress, the year you OVERCOME! So much can happen in a year!
In this episode I'm going to give you 3 steps to create better goals and better resolutions so that you'll actually achieve them. Because really, what's the point of self-reflection and setting goals and making resolutions if you don't actually DO anything, if nothing actually changes?
I'm going to challenge you here; do you listen to all these episodes, follow the people on social, consume, consume, consume, information but don't actually DO anything? If you struggle to be an action taker, maybe it's time to take this relationship to the next level? 😘
If you have been listening to the podcast for a awhile, you think the advice is good, but you have trouble implementing it, then maybe you need more? More support, more coaching, more accountability, a more personalized plan to follow. If you think you're ready for more, then the HMHB Program and Membership is ready for you!
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Show Notes & Transcript:
Welcome back, my friends, it's that time of year again, where we are turning the page from one year to the next. And we're thinking about how last year went and what we might want to change for this year, what we might want to work on the goals that we might have. Sometimes we call those goals, new year's resolutions. But did you know that by the end of the month of January, only about 9% of people are still doing the things that they made resolutions about. I know it's not a very promising statistic. So if you want to be a little more successful than that, I have three keys that you're going to want to put in place when you're making resolutions, goals, just thinking about what you want for next year, and how you're going to get it. So grab a pen and a piece of paper, you're probably going to want to write some stuff down, so you can have the best year yet,
let's go. Welcome back to the no nonsense wellness podcast, the place for women who are trying to do all the things and stay healthy, sane and actually enjoy life at the process. Hey, I'm Tara, a trained therapist, a life coach, a nutrition coach and a fitness instructor. And I'm on a mission to help you take back control of your mind, health and life. Each week, I'll be cutting through the nonsense and getting real with you. I'll bring you the insight and information you need to take control of your weight and health. Find food freedom. And finally break free from the thoughts that are sabotaging you and holding you back. You, my friend, are powerful, and the world needs you to start showing up in a bigger way. It's time to get unstuck and start moving forward. So let's pop in those earbuds, tie up those shoes. Let's walk and talk.
Before we get started, I have two super important things to talk to you about number one, oh my gosh, you guys, we crossed the 10,000 Download mark. As of the airing of this podcast, we're at about 10.2 1000 downloads. So thank you, thank you thank you a trillion times for blessing me, by listening to this podcast reviewing this podcast sharing this podcast with friends. I am just absolutely blown away. We're under 100 episodes, we're only 76 episodes we've already passed 10,000 downloads is absolutely amazing. I don't even know what to do with myself. Like I'm so excited. So thank you. The only reason we got there is because of you guys. So thank you, all of you keep it up, keep listening, keep sharing, keep spreading the no nonsense love. The second thing I want to make sure you know about is you have basically today and tomorrow, today is December 30. And you have today and tomorrow to sign up for the Healthy Mind Healthy Body Program coaching with me for 30% off. If you are on the email list, you will have received at this point several times a code to get that discount. If you're not on the email list, you're going to want to go to terraform and.com. At the top of I think every page is a banner to sign up for the newsletter. Or you could sign up to get one of the free workbooks. Those are all right on that front page at tarafaulmann.com. Anything that you've signed up for that you've given me your email address for that means you're on the email list. So search through your email and get that code get 30% off and join us in the new year for the Healthy Mind healthy body coaching program. I think that is going to be the thing that's going to make the difference for you. I think it's going to be the difference maker and I really want you to be a part of it. I'm super excited about how it's gearing up lots of leaves are really interested and I really want you to commit. So get that 30% Discount before it's gone at midnight on December 31.
Okay, so let's talk about New Year's resolutions then, according to statistics that I Googled. So not super scientific 95% of people who make New Year's resolutions, make them around Weight Loss Diet fitness somewhere in that arena. And again, like I said before, only about 9% of people who make any kind of resolution are actually still doing those things. By the end of January. That means within the first month of the year 91% of people have given up on the thing that they decided was their resolution. Now there's a lot of reasons for this and I'm going to address the three biggest in this podcast the three biggest things that you need to think about because if you've been with me for a while you know that I don't really ascribe to New Year's resolutions, people don't stick to them. It's not a great way to goal set. However, I do think that the New Year is an excellent and really obvious time to check again with our own lives to think about what's going well, what's not going well, what we'd like to change in the coming year, I highly, highly encourage you to use this time as some self reflection. What went well, what didn't go, Well, what do I want to change. So even if you're not making actual New Year's resolutions, which I don't generally ascribe to, this is a really great time, and I do highly encourage you to check in with yourself. And that's what I'm gonna talk about with you here.
So the first step that we need to think about, at this time of self reflection at the time of kind of setting the tone for the year and what we want, we first need to think back and give ourselves some credit for what we've already done, what we've already accomplished what we've already learned, when we start thinking about what we want in the new year, we always go to the place of where we fall short, I want to change this, this isn't good enough, I'm unhappy here, I'm not doing enough of that, I want to do more of this and less of that, we go straight to the places of lack, we go straight to the places where we don't have something or where we're not good enough, we go straight to the negative, we go straight to the don't have and the lack. And so I want to encourage you to not do that. And instead, the first place I want your brain to go to is the positive. What have you done? What went well, last year? Where do you need to give yourself some credit? Where can you be proud of yourself? What can you be grateful for? So you're going to ask yourself some questions like what went well, last year? What did you accomplish? Were you scared at some point, but you did the thing anyway, you got really brave, and you did something you didn't think you could do? Did you try something? And even if you failed at it, you can be really proud of the fact that you got out of your comfort zone and you tried? Where did you get out of your comfort zone? How did you show up for yourself? How did you show up for others? How did you serve other people last year? Are there boundaries that you made for yourself last year and then stuck to them? What did you learn last year? How did you grow emotionally last year? How did you grow spiritually last year? What are things that you incorporated into your life last year that really seemed to make a difference? How are your relationships last year? How did you grow them? Or expand them? Or pare them down? If the case may be? If we're talking about health wise? What worked? What were you doing that seemed to work? What did you stick to? And why did you stick to it? What didn't work? Why didn't you stick to it? These are the questions that you need to be asking yourself. So if you need to pause here, go back and listen to all those questions. Get out your pen and your paper and write down your answers, I would highly recommend that you do that. If you're taking a walk, you can pause it and think about it. But when you get home, I want you to write down your answers so that you have it in black and white on paper, all of the ways that you grew and changed and accomplished and learned last year, I really, really can't emphasize enough that you need to give yourself some credit for the stuff that you already are doing really well. Instead of first going to the lag in the negative and what I'm not doing, I want you to first go to the stuff that you're doing really well.
Okay, so once you've done that, and once you have a really good gauge of the stuff you're doing that's already working, then you're going to evaluate your situation. So you've acknowledged what's going well, now we're going to build on it, we're going to figure out how to do more of that. Because when we go to make resolutions, or really any goal in general, we again, always focus on what we're not doing, or some result that we don't already have, we decide we're going to create this brand new behavior completely out of nothing. And somehow we're going to stick to that it's way more productive. And you will have way more success if you can take the things that you're already doing, and just build on top of them. When we're talking about habits and the Healthy Mind Healthy Body program. We talk about habits a lot. And that's called habit stacking, if I take a good habit that I already have, and then I stack another habit that I want to create on top of it. That's habit stacking. That's what we're talking about here. I'm going to take an action, something that I'm doing something that I'm thinking that I am already doing pretty consistently and doing it pretty well. And I'm going to I'm going to add to it. I'm going to grow on that, for example. You decide that in 2023. You want to lose weight. So you decide that your resolution, you're going to go keto, and you're going to work out every day. I'm not picking on keto. Just insert any diet name, okay. Currently, you do neither of those two things. You do not eat keto, and you do not work out every single day. But somehow magically, on January 2, you're going to start doing both of those things. And you're going to do them without any issues without any hesitations and you're going to stick to them indefinitely. Do you understand how that's not realistic? Can you see when I say it like that? That we are totally setting ourselves up for failure? Because I can pretty much guarantee you're not going to stick to But it's too much all at once.
So instead, I want you to think about capitalizing and building on what you're already doing. So let's imagine the same goal, you want to lose weight and 2023. But instead of the all or nothing that I'm starting on January 2, I'm going to think thoughts like this, okay? I'm already pretty consistent with my movement with getting steps in, I'm doing good at that. So on one of those walks, that I take three times a week, I'm going to add 15 minutes of resistance exercise, I can add in 15 minutes to a walk, that's doable, I can figure that timeout. I'm already doing the walk anyway. And I'm really consistent with that. So now I'm just gonna bump it up a notch and add 15 minutes of resistance exercise to that. Cool, you can make a super clear plan for that that about what does that 15 minutes consist of each time? But do you see how that seems so much more doable, and so much easier to stick to, because you're just adding a tiny little thing to something you're already doing? Okay, something else you could decide, you're already pretty good at having a good breakfast, whatever your first meal of the day is, whenever you eat it, you're already pretty good at making that a pretty good meal, you have good protein, it's high nutrient, you got good fiber, it's low sugar, like you're really starting your day off well. And you're doing that pretty consistently. But by lunch and my dinner, you start kind of fallen off track. Okay, well, maybe the next step for you is focusing on lunch. How can I improve my lunches now make my first meal is already really good. My second meal? How can I improve that? How can I make it more nutrient dense? How can I make it more whole foods? How can I add in more vegetables, you're going to start asking yourself those questions. Because you're building on a skill, that first meal, you're already doing it one time a day, you're building on that skill, and you're just adding to it for a second meal of the day. Does that make sense? Instead of deciding I am completely overhauling my entire diet and eating in a way that I totally am not already, I'm just making these small, incremental add ons, these are changes that you can stick to long term because they're building on what you're already doing.
This might take a little longer. So we want to lose 20 pounds, we want to lose 20 pounds yesterday. So we're going to do the crazy diet and you know, lose 20 pounds in two months while doing these small incremental changes might take a little bit longer to lose that 20 pounds, right? Maybe it takes you six months instead of two. But if I stick to it for the rest of the year, and I come up against 2024 and I have not gained that 20 pounds back because I made changes that I could stick to through the whole year and I kept making progress. Isn't that a much better place to be than losing the 20 pounds fast gaining it back and then being in the exact same spot again next year? Do you see sometimes you have to slow down to speed up sometimes you have to make small changes in order to make big changes.
And the third thing I want you to think about is your perspective. Because one of the biggest problems that we have every year when we're evaluating what we want in the next year is that we try to change our behavior without changing our thoughts. And we do the same thing with pretty much any goal that we set, we try to change our behavior goals. I'm going to eat this not eat that workout like this not like that, right? We make all the rules. We make all the behavior rules, but we don't change our thinking to go along with it. So let's say you've decided to go back to that keto and workout example, you've decided that that's going to be the way that you're going to lose the weight. But meanwhile, your thoughts still sound like this is never gonna work. I'm never gonna stick to this. I never ever stick to this. No one ever sticks to New Year's resolutions. I've tried this before. This sucks. I want bread. I miss noodles. Like, I hate this. This is hard. I feel like crap. Like those are all the thoughts that you're still having. So is it any wonder then that we fail, that we give up that we don't stick to it, we made the behavior change, you're doing the things but your thoughts have not changed. So you're really you're going to need to check in with what you're thinking about the process of accomplishing your goals, thinking about who you are in the process of accomplishing your goals. If your thoughts are about how you're going to fail, then your emotions and actions and results are just going to follow suit and you will fail. So instead I want you to think about this changing your perspective to deciding how the you who has already accomplished this thing would be thinking and feeling and it really doesn't matter what the thing is. It could be weight loss. It could be podcast downloads, it could be be home remodel, like it doesn't even matter what it is. But think about the user who's already done the thing. How is she feeling? How is she thinking how is she acting?
And I'm not talking about just the you that's already lost the 20 pounds I'm talking about the you who added the 15 minutes of resistance exercise today. Okay, I'm not talking about the EU that completely just gutted and remodeled her bathroom. I'm talking about the you that just picked out tile today, because that was the next step. Does that make sense? I'm not asking you to think about the EU one year from now and how she's gonna feel I'm asking you to think about the you at the end of today. How is she going to feel about how today went? Did she check off the things that she intended to check off today? Does that make sense? Sometimes we make this so big, and we have like this big lofty goal about like, I'm gonna lose all this weight, or do this big project or whatever, whatever. But we get so lost in the weeds and we forget the day to day, the stuff that I want you to think about is the day to day that's what counts. That's how you're getting there. So if you can focus on Wow, the me at the end of today, who ate the extra serving of veggies, or went to the yoga class or did the 15 minutes of resistance exercise, that me feels amazing, she feels proud, she feels motivated, she feels energetic, she feels like this is possible. She has tons of hope. That's what I want you to think about. That's how you change your perspective. That's how you change your thoughts. Not you know, 20 pounds from now, not you at the end of 2023. You today, you at the end of the day, completing the action that you set out to accomplish today. Does that make sense?
So let me give you a personal example of perspective change, because it's very current for me. And I like to, you know, put this in real human terms, because I deal with all the same stuff that you guys do, I don't have some magical power that you guys don't possess. I've just been working on this for a really long time, so I can catch myself faster and change myself faster. And that's what I teach you guys in the Healthy Mind Healthy Body program on this podcast. I'm teaching you the skills that I'm learn that I have learned and that I still do learn and incorporate. So let me give you my real life example. Right now, I for the last year have been dealing with some pretty bad back problems. And for the last six months, I haven't worked out at all. And when I say workout, I mean, I can't walk very far, I can't do any resistance with weights or anything like that. All the stuff that I really usually like to do. And I really haven't done that for about the last year. So it's been a real physical challenge for me being in pain, and then also a real mental challenge for me being not being able to do the things that I want to do. And so instead of getting stuck in the negative, which I have been at different times, getting stuck in the frustration getting stuck in the This sucks, why can't my body just work? Why can't I get better? Why does this keep happening? Wham. Right? I've been there. But instead, the perspective that I chose that I have chosen to have is being proud of what I can do. And being consistent in the things that I can do. I am proud that I found people who can help me I am proud that I am doing consistently the things that they tell me to do to get better. I am proud that even though it doesn't look the way that I want it to look, I can be proud of my consistency. And that is a shift that I have had to make. And I've been really holding on tight to that. And it's working because the more proud I am of being consistent, the more consistent I am. And I also have to hold on to the idea of I know I'll get better. And so I can end the day every single day thinking about okay, Tara, what did you do today to get better? If I can stay that course I know that I will find success. My success is inevitable. If I stay the course. And the way that I do that is every single day I'm thinking about at the end of the day, how do I want to feel? Do I want to feel crappy? Because stuff her and I gave up? And I was what was me and went away away and life sucks? And it's not fair? Or do I want to be proud of myself at the end of the day because I went out to my garage where it's super cold. And I did my little exercises, right? I did my stretches. And I did the things that I'm supposed to do so that I can keep making progress. That's the perspective shift that I'm talking about. It's always your choice. You always get to choose what your thoughts are, you have to catch the ones that are unhelpful and change them.
So if you're trying to make big change this year, if you're if you're trying to do big things, awesome, highly encourage it. But I want to make sure that you are breaking it down into smaller steps, that you are acknowledging the things that you're already doing well and building upon those things. And then that you are also changing your thoughts about the potential outcome and about your capability. And about whether or not you're going to be successful, your thoughts really, really matter. So I definitely encourage you to take a few minutes, write all of this stuff down, write down all of the parts and pieces, write down all of the things that we just talked about. Put it down on paper, there's really something about writing it down and putting it on paper that makes it more real and makes it more tangible. And something that you can really hold on on to. Because if you really want different results in 2023, you're gonna have to do things differently. There's just no other way around it. And if you like what you hear in this podcast, if you feel like well, you know, this stuff was really helpful, but I'm not really doing any of it. Like I didn't get out a pen and a paper and actually write this down. Well, you might benefit from coaching, where I actually hold you accountable for that kind of stuff where I actually will send you a text and be like, Hey, did you do it? That is something that might benefit you. So again, you've got till the end of December 31 to get 30% off the Healthy Mind healthy body coaching program that is me as your coach personally and as a small group. You have tons of access to me you have the entire membership, you have masterclasses so many things that you have access to in that program. And if you have any questions, make sure you talk to me about it really fast. Okay, my friends, I hope I see you and healthy mind, healthy body and 2023 until we talk again,
Hey, friends, thanks so much for being here. If you found value in today's episode, will you do me a favor and head over to iTunes? Find the no nonsense wellness podcast and subscribe and leave me a review. It would mean the world to me and help other people find the show. And I'd love to connect with you more. So find me on Instagram. I'm @tarafaulmann Take a screenshot of this episode and share it in your stories and tag me. I'll see you over there.