It's My Birthday! 3 Principles I'm focusing on this year

It's My Birthday!
3 Principles I'm focusing on
this year

Do you reflect on your life when your birthday comes around?

Even more than New Years time, every year around my birthday I get very reflective about my life, where I'm going, and where I've been.  This year, I want to share those reflections with you because I think they might be valuable for you on your journey as well.  And, I hope this episode helps you get to know me a little better.  

I'm turning 44 today, and that doesn't give me anxiety, or make me sad or stressed at all! No mid-life crisis here friends! In fact I feel quite the opposite, I feel like I have so much opportunity and so much room for growth that I get excited for the future to come! I'm literally excited about WHO I will become in the next 10 - 40 years.  Aging is really about perspective isn't it? You can see your life as "half over" or you can see it as "the best half is still to come"! I choose the latter 😂 

I hope you notice that in an episode where I'm talking about the 3 main things I'm focusing on in the next year, not ONE of them has to do with food, fitness, or losing weight.  Every one of them has to do with my mindset, my growth as a person, the evolution of my spiritual life, and my contributions.  

It's so easy to get caught up in the goals and results; the should's, have to's, and expectations that we place on ourselves and that we THINK others place on us.  "At this age I should have accomplished these things . . ."  Historically, I've been so fixated on the end result that I didn't stop to wonder or pray about whether or not I was even on the right path! This year I'm focusing on letting my own "shoulds" go, and embracing and trusting the paths God leads me down.

I hope you hear a bit of yourself in this episode. I hope there are some valuable nuggets to ponder and pray over. And I hope you'll join me in embracing the unknown and all the opportunity it holds.


PS. If anything in this episode resonated with you, then share the LOVE! Post a screenshot of this episode in your stories and tag me @tarafaulmann! And join the conversation in our FREE No Nonsense Wellness Community!

Full transcription available at the bottom of this post

Show Notes: 

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Full Transcript: 

Welcome back, my friends. I'm so happy you're here. When this episode goes live, it will be my 44th birthday! Every year, like you probably do, I get very reflective about my previous year. And I think about the things that I want to carry with me into my next year of life. I want to share those things with you today. I want to share with you the three things that I'm really focusing on for my 44th trip around the sun. And I hope that there are some nuggets in here that you find really valuable. And maybe you'll take these forward with you in the next year as well. This is going to be one of my more philosophical podcasts. But I think you'll appreciate the change because it's going to be a really good talk about my belief system and what I'm really focusing on and the things that I struggle with. And the things that I'm really working hard on and I think you'll probably hear a lot about yourself in here as well. Okay, so let's talk about year 44. Let's go

Welcome back to the no nonsense wellness podcast, the place for women who are trying to do all the things and stay healthy, sane and actually enjoy life in the process. Hey, I'm Tara, a trained therapist, a life coach, a nutrition coach and a fitness instructor. And I have a mission to help you take back control of your mind, health and life. Each week, I'll be cutting through the nonsense and getting real with you. I'll bring you the insight and information you need to take control of your weight and health. Find food freedom. And finally break free from the thoughts that are sabotaging you and holding you back. You, my friend, are powerful, and the world needs you to start showing up in a bigger way. It's time to get unstuck and start moving forward. So let's pop in those earbuds, tie up those shoes. Let's walk and talk.

Before we get started, I just want to talk about the 30 Day movement challenge that we are in right now. We're not even a week through. But it has been so amazing. I am absolutely so inspired by the over 40 Women who have joined this challenge. Honestly, so far, I think they have blessed me more than I have probably blessed them. Like for me being a part of this. And watching these women cheer each other on and be so excited and make amazing changes. I cannot tell you how happy that makes my heart. So there's about three weeks left just over. So if you still want to join us, you still totally can join us because listen, some is better than none and late is better than never. So if you want to still hop into that challenge, go to, get yourself registered. And then you can kind of catch up with us and be a part of it. It truly is such an awesome process. I'm loving it. And in other related news coming up on May 16. The Healthy Mind Healthy Body program is opening back up, I've totally revamped it, it's going to be so cool. You're obviously going to get so much value out of this. So have you have found value in this podcast and this sort of fresh perspective here, then I think you will find so much value in the Healthy Mind healthy body coaching program, I'm going to teach you how to take back control of your mind and your body so that you never have to go on a soul sucking diet. Again, I'm gonna teach you how to achieve lasting health and lasting weight loss that fits into your life and your lifestyle. No counting no measuring, no putting food on scales, no tracking points. None of that just real life or real humans real work real change. My goal for you is that this will be the last program that you will ever need. Because you will have it all figured out after you go through this. So go to Tara forward slash join for all the details for the modules for everything that you're going to learn and get on the waiting list. That's going to be a small group this time I'm going to cap the number of people I'm allowing him because I really want you to have like the full immersive coaching experience. So get on the waiting list. So then when may 16 hits and it's opened up you'll be like the first one. So Okay, so I am at the age 44 Where I forget how old I am. I don't know if you can relate to this. I have to think about how Old my husband turned on his last birthday and I do little mental math and figure out how old I am. I don't know if you do that exact same thing, but I just doesn't I don't pay any attention to it. I'm 44 today. And that honestly doesn't create any anxiety for me, it doesn't create any negativity for me. In fact,

I get really excited about it. Because I feel like I'm in this phase of my life of reinvention. Now, my boys are teenagers, and we homeschool. So I get to spend a lot of amazing time with them. Just a little plug for homeschooling, spending time with your teenage children in this kind of homeschool environment, at least the one that we're in has absolutely been the best thing we've ever done for our family. So I am in this season of reinvention because I get to reinvent myself as that and also through this business and all the things that I'm trying to do. I feel like it's this huge blank slate in front of me that I just get to start writing on it whatever I want. And there's so many possibilities open to me, I think that's different than maybe generations before us. Maybe when generations before us kind of hit their 40s it starts to feel like oh, everything's going downhill and I'm getting older and things don't work the same and my body is going wrong. And what if I don't like my job right and have all these midlife crises, but I have having like this midlife epiphany, if you will, it's really cool. 

So in that vein, I have really thought about the things that I've learned over the last year and what I want to carry forward with me into the next year and two year 44. And for me, it's mostly things that I want to focus on, and mostly things that I want to work on. Because I am always a work in progress. The three things are having a both and life. And I'll tell you exactly what that is. The second thing is that everything has a season and how to be okay with being in that season. And the third thing is allowing and being obedient. So let's talk about what those things are. The first thing that I'm focusing on this year is a both and life. So both and thinking is a psychological term, at least that's where I learned it was in graduate school. But it's the idea that there are a multitude of options in life and that you can feel or believe many things at once. It's really interesting. I think this is so important actually, I think I'll do an entire podcast just on this because in the society that we live in right now this is so super important. society right now wants you to pick a side, always you're on this side, or you're on that side, you're with us, or you're against us. And if you really start paying attention to the news and to social media, that is exactly what they're doing. They are making you pick a side, and then they're pitting those two sides against each other. But friend, let me paint a bigger picture for you. That is not life. That is not how the world works. There is no this side or that side, there is a multitude of things. And I can believe some of the things that this side believes. And I can also believe some of the things that this side believes both of those things can be true in my own brain at the same time. Does that make sense? It's society tries to tell us that you there's no middle ground, you're either with us or against us? Well, that's not real, because I bet if I polled almost every single person that I know, or that listens to this podcast, there's some things from this side that you think are valuable. And there's some things from the other side that you think are valuable, you can be in the middle, you can be both. And let me give you some more examples. Instead of thinking I can either have a career or I can stay home with kids, you could think I can both have a career and stay at home with kids and be a present parent. If you start to change your mind to both and thinking it opens you up to getting creative about all the ways that you could create that both am scenario, right. If I'm thinking either or I'm really cutting off all my possibilities. I have to choose kids or I have to choose career, one or the other. But if I think if I can have both, I can have career and kids. Well, now my brain is going to work differently because it's going to find all the possible ways that I could have both and does that make sense? You are completely changing your perspective. And that's super important.

Here's some more examples. I can both love my body and want to change it at the same time. I can both eat foods I love and lose weight and get healthy. I can both love staying at home with my kids and feel stifled by it. Do you see where I'm going with this? A both and life allows you to create something that it has so much more possibility So as I go into my next year, I am going to really stay focused on how to stay in that frame of mind of both. And do I feel like I'm being put in a position where I have to choose either or? And if I am being put in that position, how can I create the both and and then how do I achieve the both and it allows me to have such a more such a richer and more full experience of life. Because there's so much more possibility when I look at things from a both and perspective. So I encourage you don't fall into the trap, that society right now wants you to fall into, you're either this side or you're that side, you can be both and make sense. 

The second thing that I really am trying to focus on in the next year is understanding and being okay with the idea that everything has a season, we tend to I think, especially as women and as moms, to feel a lot of pressure to do all the things all the time and be successful at all the things all the time, you may have noticed this in your own life. For me, it looks like constantly pushing, pushing, pushing, it's the idea that I can do it, I can do it, I can make it happen all figured out. I've got it figured out or I'll figure it out. And what I've learned is that when I come with that energy, when I'm doing stuff like that, when I push push pushing, it hardly ever works. What works instead is to pray, pray, pray, and to be okay with the answers that I get. And to be okay with the season that I'm in. Let me give you an example. For a while in this business that I'm building, I was very much coming from a push, push push perspective. And I was trying to get all the training and I'm doing all the things and I gotta do this thing. And I gotta show up this way. And I gotta market this way. And I gotta be on social media all the time. And I have to do all this stuff. And I was pushed, push pushing. And the more I pushed, the more I hated it. The more I resented it, the more I just didn't like it, it felt disingenuous, and it was burning me out. And I didn't like who I was while I was doing it. And so then I thought, well, this isn't working. I should pray about what I should be doing. 

So I did, I prayed a lot. And what I realized, and what I was shown is that I'm not in that season right now. The season that I'm in right now is not about growing a multimillion dollar business. The season that I'm in is homeschooling my kids and being involved in that community, being involved with my kids being involved and putting almost all of my energy, honestly, into their growth as humans. And it wasn't until I heard that message that I realized like oh my gosh, I've been pushing, pushing pushing for something that I'm not in this season of. That's what I'm sort of trying to tell you right now. And maybe this is something that you need to pray about and think about if it feels like you're forcing it, maybe you're not in that season, maybe you're in a different season. And part of what we have to do is to understand that if we put something down, we can pick it back up again later. So maybe you're in a season of little kids at home and your career path is kind of being put on the backburner right now, it's okay. Maybe you're in a season right now. Have you just retired and you're reinventing yourself and you're really focused on you, and what you want and your needs and what your purpose is. Beyond everything else,

just what are you here for? That's okay, that's great. You've you put other things down to do that. So part of it's just being okay with like slowing down and being okay with the season that you're in and understanding what season you're in. Because if you put those things down, they will come up again, you will have the opportunity again, it might not look the same, but it will come up if it was the thing for you. So we I think have this sort of natural tendency to be like, if I don't do it now. It'll never happen, right? That's why I was with my business. Like, I'm in my 40s If I don't build this now, I'll be so old and it'll never work and no one will ever listen to me and it'll be terrible. But like, right, that's like now now now that's for it. My energy was and I had to realize like, okay, Dara, chill out. If you put this down now, you can pick it back up later and it will be even better. Because that's the plan. Like be okay, that that's the plan. The Bible always talks about sowing seasons and reaping seasons, right? I had to acknowledge that in my business. I was not in a reaping season and I was trying to force it to be one. I'm in a sowing season right now. I'm in a reaping season more with my kids because I'm just really enjoying and spending all that time with them and reaping the Benefits of that time that I get together with them and the involvement that I get to have with them. But I'm in a sowing season in my business, instead of trying to push, push, push, grow, grow, grow more money, more money, I have to hit this income level and this income level, I had to be okay with sowing, forming relationships serving. And I can tell you, Oh my gosh, that energy has been so much more rewarding for me so much more rewarding. So once again, God's plan was right, just go with it. So here's the point, understand the season you're in, pray about the season that you're in and be okay with setting something down so that you can pick it up again later when it's right. And it'll be even bigger and better than you ever thought it would be. 

And that sort of leads me into the third thing, which is allowing and being obedient. So again, I am a work in progress at all times. So allowing and being obedient. That's not my nature, right? That's probably not most humans nature, my biggest tendency is to push, push, push my way, my way, my way, right. I'm the boss, I know what to do. And part of understanding and being okay with the season that you're in is allowing, allowing things and people and opportunities and situations to come into your life, but also allowing those same things to leave. You have to allow things to come into your life that maybe weren't part of your plan. And you also have to allow things to leave your life that maybe weren't part of God's plan for you. Now, when you hear out in the world, most people talk about allowing, they're generally talking about it in terms of like allowing the universe to provide right like, open yourself up to receive the gifts of the universe and whatever else. I just want you to be clear on like where I'm coming from, you probably won't be shocked by this. But I'm not really down with the new agey like the secret type stuff. And without like, going way too deep on that.

What they're saying is that they're asking you to allow the universe to provide things to you, opening yourself up, sending out this is what I want, and then receiving back the thing that you want. You are creating, right, you decided what you wanted, you ask the universe for it, and the universe sent it to you, you, you, you, you you what I'm talking about when I say allowing is giving up control giving up the Me me me what I always want, I always know best and allow God's plan to unfold for me. So my tendency, again, is to always push, push, push, try to be the boss, try to be the creator. But I am always better when I tune in to what God has in store for me when I allow God to lead my steps. So when I say allowing, I am really saying I'm not creating that I'm saying I am allowing God to lead the way and I will follow. The other issue I have with that sort of universal allowing is that it's this suggestion that anything that we receive comes from this sort of neutral universe, this kind of uncaring energy that is just like whatever I put out, I receive, right. That's what they always say like whatever you put out, you get back. Well, I just kind of fundamentally don't agree with that. Because when I'm receiving I am receiving from a loving God, who cares about me and my plan and my purpose and what he has in store for me. Like I'm not receiving from just some uncaring neutral universe I'm receiving from a loving father. That is a totally different energy to run your life by. So again, this is probably like a whole other conversation. Maybe we should open this up in the no nonsense community because it took me a while to kind of see the nuanced differences there because it's so big, right? Even you hear a lot of Christians talk about this kind of new agey secret stuff, but it's there's a fundamental difference to me. 

So what I'm allowing is this kind of ebb and flow of life not getting caught up in the way that I think things should be. But allowing God to unfold the plan for me, if that makes sense. The second piece to allowing then in order to allow you have to be obedient. When God shows me a path I am working on being obedient and following that path, even though I don't always know where it's going. I wasn't the plan that I made. But I am working on being obedient to that path. And to those messages that I received. This is hard. This is not always easy because we always want to control control right like I know better, it's my life, I have got this. But when you start being obedient to what God has for you, it's always bigger and better if swear, every single time. That's what's shown to me like, well, this is what you thought, Tara, but let me show you what I'm gonna do with you. So instead of constantly trying to decide, like, I think this is best, and I think this is what's next. And I think this is what I should be doing. And I think this is where I should be going. Instead, what I'm really working on is allowing the path to be unfolded before me, and then being obedient and walking that path. 

Well, I told you that I was gonna get a little more philosophical on this podcast. But I hope this was an insight for you guys about who I am and what I'm about. And I hope that these are some things that maybe you can ponder about, and think about, and maybe carry forward with you into your next year. I hope that these were some nuggets that you could at the very least, ask questions about, ask questions of yourself, ask questions of friends and family, ask questions of God. If you ask him, he'll answer. And if you have questions for me, I would love to talk about these things. Because I don't have all the answers. I don't know all the things. I can just tell you what I experience and what I think and what I know now. And I would love to have deeper conversations with you guys and hear what you think about these things that I just talked about. So if you want to if you're not in that community group yet, it's just on Facebook. It's called no nonsense women. There's always a link in the show notes. Get in that group, ask me the questions and start the conversations. I would love to hear what you guys think about these things. If it really served you today, or if you were like oh my gosh.

I would love to know you tell me. All right, my friends. Head over to the community group. Get yourself signed up for the movement challenge if you still want to get in there. Get yourself on the waiting list for the Healthy Mind Healthy Body program and until we talk again. Friends, thanks so much for being here. If you found value in today's episode, will you do me a favor and head over to iTunes? Find the no nonsense wellness podcast and subscribe and leave me a review. It would mean the world to me and help other people find the show. And I'd love to connect with you more. So find me on Instagram. I'm @tarafaulmann. Take a screenshot of this episode and share it in your stories and tag me. I'll see you over there.

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