0:00:00.1 S1: Summer time is nearly upon us, and so is that dreaded moment when you have to pull out all your shorts and your tank tops and your swimsuits and face yourself in the mirror, this is traumatic for many of us, and this is the moment where you think, Why didn't I do something about this last year, what can I do or real fast to get ready for the summer. Well, today I'm gonna give you the fastest way that I know to get a summer ready body. Let's go. 

0:01:54.1 S1: Before we get going really quickly, I wanna direct you to get on the monthly newsletter, because I've got some really cool stuff growing at no nonsense wellness. And I want you to be a part of it. It's going to be a way that we can take what we learn in the podcast and really start applying it to our lives and getting some coaching and community along the way. It's gonna be super cool. So if you have not yet, head over to terraform and trauma dot com and get on the newsletter list, I will put the link for that in the show notes as well, a little form, you can just sign up and make sure you get... So that you'll be the first to know about what I got coming next. Okay, right now I know what you're thinking. Do enough with the newsletter, I mean, we care about that right now. I need to understand the secret to losing weight fast, I just put my shorts on just to buy swimsuits out, I'm in trouble. Help me. Okay, well, I have a confession to make. There is definitely a secret to getting a summer body fast, but it's probably not what you think it is.

0:03:05.0 S1: I bet the reason you clicked on this podcast, the reason that you are here right now is 'cause you're looking for a quick way to get rid of solute, you're looking for a quick way to lose weight, but if you know me at all, then you know that those things are not really my jam, so what's the secret that... The secret is that your body is already... Some are ready to do. I know I can hear you screaming at me right now through this podcast, don't turn this off, because if you're freaking out right now, or you have anxiety about this right now, or you're mad at me for this right now, then you are the one who needs to hear this more than anyone, so please stay with me on this one, you know that's saying that it's... You always see the memes going into summer and it says How to Have a bikini body, you number one by a bikini, number two, have a body, number three you put the bikini on your body, that's pretty much my philosophy of life and of sober because it's the truth... Let's just get down to it is the truth.

0:04:12.8 S1: If you have a body and you wanna put a swimsuit on it, put a fucking swimsuit on it, like, Who gives a shit? I know. Easier said Then, don't go. Believe me, I know, but I wanna take you through a few things today that you can work on and that I think will help you with your mindset, because here's the deal, if you're in the northwest like me, you got about a month-ish, a little more until summer really hits if you're other places in the country and in the world, you're already in summer, so you have zero time, so even if you lost 10 pounds between now and the start of summer, that's not making a lot of difference to the way your body actually looks like it's just really not like Can we just be real honest about this, there's nothing you're gonna do right now that's gonna make a huge difference to the way you look before summer gets here. So the huge difference that we can make is in our head and the way we see ourselves... Please stick with me here. The first thing I want you to think about is, how did you get here? Why is it that you think your body isn't...

0:05:19.8 S1: Summer ready right now? Just as it is. I mean, really, I want you to really ask yourself why, why do you think that... Do you think you're too fat, do you think you have too much collate... Do you think you're a little too Jillian places? Do you think you don't look the way you used to in your 20s and that somehow that's a failure, do you think you don't look like that other mom or maybe that other gal on Instagram, like is this a comparison thing, or is this a self-esteem thing? Or is this both? I really want you to ask yourself, honestly. So here's how you do that. I usually like lay in bed 'cause that's like a relaxing place for me laying bed, and I just get real quiet and I just ask myself the questions, Tarawa, do you think this... Why is it that you think you're too fat? And I'll say, Well, because I don't have a six-pack like that rural and it's to grow. Okay, is she better than you because she has a six pack... No. Did you ever have a six-pack in your life now, you gotta really start asking yourself questions and you'll get to the point...

0:06:33.4 S1: If you keep asking yourself Why? Why why? You'll get to the point where you're like, Oh, my whole argument kinda falls on its face, it kind of falls flat, there is no good basis for this argument that I have with myself, so you're really trying to examine... Where did you get this idea of what a summer body should look like? Did it come from an experience when you were younger, did it come from maybe when you were a teenager and you were comparing to other girls your age, did it come from a parent or a family member, maybe a critical mom or something else of that nature, really start to develop an understanding of where these thoughts and ideas have come from for you, it's so easy for us to just kind of go through our day accepting that this is what we think, and this is who we are, and this is how things are... But we never really ask ourselves, How did I get here, why do I think this... Where is this coming from? It's really important that you start understanding that for yourself, so if you are someone who is thinking, Well, I'm too fat to our shorts, my arms are too jiggly to put on the tank top...

0:07:50.2 S1: Those are two that I hear probably the most. Where did you get that idea? How did you decide at what point arms are to jiggly for a tank top or just not jigglyl enough. Where did this come from? You are judging yourself really harshly, but What are you judging yourself against... Is that something that's real or is it something that you have developed in your own head, you goddess understanding where this shit and your has come from? Why is it there in the first place, maybe it was a bad relationship, maybe it was someone who belittled you or someone who told you you are fat, or someone who told you your arms or to giggle for a tank top. Okay, well, if that's the case, let's start asking questions about that person, that person tell you that because they love you, or did that person tell you that because they were trying to belittle you or be mean to you, or bring you down... Really start to ask yourself some questions, Where did you get this idea? Why do you have this idea, who maybe gave you this idea that you just stuck to, that somehow your legs don't work in Shorts, Guess what, if you have legs and you have shorts, your legs work insurance or...

0:09:13.4 S1: We're just gonna keep going back to that, but you gotta understand where it comes from, the second thing I want you to consider as you are stressing yourself out about someone who wardrobe is the kind of example that you are setting in who you're setting it for, your kids are watching, they are listening and they are learning, even when you do not think that they are, they are learning how to love or hate their own bodies based on how much you love or hate your body, and I know you think, Oh, in front of my kids, I'm fine, I wouldn't say anything like that in for my kids, I just say those things to myself, bullshit, I'm calling you on it right now, that's total crap. Your kids are so intuitive, they see it, they hear it, they feel it if you have loathing for your own body, they know... They know. And they feel it, and then they start to wonder, how should I feel about my body? Well, my legs look like my mom's legs and she hates her legs, does she hate my lens... Do I look fat in a swim suit, like you gotta stop...

0:10:25.1 S1: If you won't stop for yourself, you've gotta stop for them, your kids love you no matter what you look like, they love you, no matter how sloppy your arm is in a tank top, they love you, no matter how much cellular is on your leg, sticking out of that short, they love you, no matter what kind of suck it in one piece, you gotta find to make yourself feel better. They don't care. They want you present. They want you with them present, physically, present, emotionally, and if you are constantly concerned about how you look in those damn shorts, you are not present with your kids emotionally at all, you might be sitting there at the pool with them, but all you're thinking about is hiding in the shade and keep in my some cover up on because no one... So no one will see my tummy, You know what your heads want... They want you to jump in the pool. They want you to be the mom who jumps in the pool, so if you won't do this for you, do this for them, in fact... Let's take that a step further. Let's pretend we're at the pool, because not only am I asking you to be an example for your kids, I am asking you to be an example of love for other women, because here's what you think is happening, you think you go to the pool and you go to the beach and wherever swim suits are worn, and you think every woman there is silently judging you for how you look, it's not even about any men that are even there, it's always about the women, you're happily married, you don't care if those stupid men think it's about the women, you somehow have created stories in your head about what these women think about you, you probably don't even know these women, so you've made up all these stories about how they think that you're too fat for that swimsuit you shouldn't wear that.

0:12:10.3 S1: You have too much cellulite, your skin is flabby, your tummy is hanging over, whatever the case is, whatever the thoughts are, you're in your head, you have put these thoughts on these women, you have assumed that that's what they're thinking about you. You all know the truth. You have to really thinking about you... Let's imagine this, let's imagine that instead of hiding in your mumu in the shade, what you actually do is throw that shit off, tear out that scrunchy out of your hair with reckless abandon, jog over to the edge of the pool and Cannonball your ass in. And you splash around your kids and you have a great time, and you get your hair wet and you don't care what those women are thinking, if they saw that, they're thinking, Wow, I wish I was that confident. Day, Look at her go, I wish I could do that. She looks just like me, or maybe even she's bigger than me, and she just doesn't care what anyone thinks. I wish I was more like that. She looks great. Look at her. Look how much fun she's having. She's having such a great time with her kids, and I'm just over here hiding in the shade, that's what the other one that are actually thinking, if you stood up with confidence and jumped in that pool and swim in that ocean and played with your kids and stopped caring so much about what's giggling while you do it, what the other women are gonna think is, Wow, I wish I could be more like that.

0:13:45.0 S1: So maybe it's not just being an example for your kids, maybe it's be an example for other women too, maybe if you're brave, if you're brave and you stand up and you jump in that pool, you get a label, do it too. Maybe you'll give her some confidence, maybe some of your bravery and confidence will inspire her... Imagine, imagine if one small act like that that you did really for your kids, inspired other moms do this pining, how cool is that? And I wanna make a note because I'm a realist, and I know that there are women who are critical of other women, believe me, I know this is true, but if you're one of those women who criticize other women, you're gonna be overly critical of yourself, so I want you to put yourself in check for a sec, if you happen to be one of those... And I think very few, I think women like this are the minority, but they exist, if you are one of those women who does criticize others, I want you to find a way to be more loving and gracious towards those other women because I know that the reason you are critical of them is because you're critical of yourself, if you could be loving and gracious towards those other women, whatever they look like and however they are, then I know that you can be more loving and gracious to yourself, so if you can't start with...

0:15:11.6 S1: You start with them, if you can't appreciate things about yourself, start appreciating those things and others, start recognizing them, start seeing them, start seeing that confidence, start seeing that self-love, start seeing that bravery, and then you will start seeing it in yourself to... The third thing I want you to think about are your own thoughts, so we touched on this first set, but I really wanna hammer this home, so are you the woman who is making up stories about... What other people think about you? I can tell you for sure that I absolutely have been this person, like a lot, not just with swimsuits, with almost everything, I make up all kinds of stories in my head about what I think other people will think of me most of the time. In fact, probably 95% of the time. None of those things are true. It's just what I am scared. People would think about me. Does that make sense? I have a fear that they would think of those things, think bad things. Okay, let me give you an example. So recently, I went on a vacation with some friends to Arizona was one of my friends 40th birthdays.

0:16:19.4 S1: We had an amazing time. I love these women. They're so awesome leading up to the trip though, I was kind of going to that dark place I'm talking about, where it's like, Oh, I gotta put on shorts and I gotta put on a swimsuit, and Oh, I got to find some self-tanner and... Oh, we gotta get one last workout in before I go, This is what's happening in my head, because I gotta put a swimsuit on a front of other people. And talking to one of my friends, I just had this moment of clarity where I was, I realized like, oh my gosh, Tara, what are you talking about? And what are you thinking, These women, these friends of yours have been friends of yours since high school, they have seen you at your healthiest, they've seen you at your fittest, they've seen you overweight,  they've seen you sick, they've seen you healthy.  And they've never never judged. They don't care, so why do I care so much?

0:18:23.8 S1: I want you to take a second and walk through this with me. Those are all emotions that would create the action of just jumping in the pool and having fun, well, what are the thoughts that are gonna create those emotions... Well, I'm gonna have to have thoughts that sound something like, I love my body, no matter what it looks like, my worth is not based on my physical body, my physical body does not determine my value, I am much more than my body. I'm thankful for the body that I have, those types of thoughts are going to generate emotions of love for myself and confidence, and then those emotions are going to elicit behaviors that look a lot more like Canon-balling into the pool and playing with my kids. So I want you to work on going through that exercise with yourself, go down the formula for success, remember we start with the fact, the thing that you can't change, which is I have a body, and then you go to your thoughts, all the thoughts you have about your body, and then those thoughts, you list the emotions that you have and those emotions generate actions and results, you can go through that formula and figure out exactly where you're at right now, then in order to get the results and the actions that you want, like jumping in the pool, start at the bottom, decide what those actions are, decide what the emotions are that are gonna get you those actions, then decide what the thoughts are that it gonna get you...

0:19:57.5 S1: Those emotions makes sense. And while we're talking about thoughts, I wanna just divert for a second, because there's this thing that bothers me that we all do, and it's so dumb.

0:20:09.8 S2: I just really have to call all of us out on this.

0:20:12.7 S1: So we go to the store or we buy online a bunch of stuff, and we're trying it on in front of our mirror and we put these clothes on, we put this swim suit on, we put these shorts on, and we look at ourselves and we think, Oh, I look terrible. Like, I got a roll here and it's cutting in wrong over there. Why is it then that every time that happens, we decide there's something wrong with us, that it's my body that doesn't look right. We don't ever say, It's the clothes, it's the clothes clearly weren't made for my body, this swimsuit cut was clearly not made for me, it was made for someone else's body, these shorts were clearly not made for my body and to be flattering on my body, they were made for someone else's body, why don't we ever blame the clothes... We always blame ourselves, we always blame my body isn't right, it doesn't look right, because it doesn't fit into those shorts, it doesn't locate because it doesn't fit into that swim suit. That's crap. That is such a crappy thought, We've got to change it, so the next time you do what I did in order like five swim suits off of Amazon, you can try all of them on because it really is a marathon, not a sprint.

0:21:25.3 S1: You to try a lot of swimsuits before you find the ones that are flattering, let's start blaming the clothes, let's just decide if that piece of clothing doesn't fit, it's the clothing fault. Not yours, it's not because there's something wrong with your body. It's because the clothes were not made for you. Okay, can we all just agree that that thought is a pretty easy thought to change, but it's one we have got to change. And I wanna leave you with this idea, the idea that there is not better than here, if today I had given you some kind of magical tip, so that in the next month you lost 15 pounds and you felt better about yourself somehow that 15 pound... Lighter version of you still has the same shitty thoughts, the same stinky thinking, the same hang-ups, the same insecurities, just in a 15-pound later package, nothing has changed if you don't change your thoughts, that you will not change anything. No matter how much weight you gain or lose in the long run, doesn't matter one single bit, if you haven't addressed what's going on in your own head, 15-pound lighter version of you is still gonna find things to hate about you.

0:22:41.1 S1: As the you does right now, because 15 pound later version of you hasn't changed her thinking, She hasn't changed how she feels about herself. She's just 15 pounds later, 'cause she died in there... Guess what happens then? You gained 15 pounds back. You still hate yourself. We didn't get anywhere. What is the version of you right now was worthy and was worthy of love and was worthy of love from you, what if you right now is as good as it gets, could you find a way to love yourself no matter what? Because I tell you the truth, if you want lasting health, if you want lasting weight loss, if you want to reach this place of the best you, whatever you think that is, you have to reach it mentally first, you have to be able to go there in your head first, you have to love yourself where you are now, if you wanna love yourself where you wanna be, the best way to do that is to cultivate a practice of gratitude for your body, just every day. And this is one of the things that I teach people that I work with, I have to write it down every single day, but at least three things about your body every day that you appreciate, that you are grateful for, that you love...

0:24:04.6 S1: Thank your body for what it's given you. Has it given you kids? Does it give you life? Every morning did allow you to get out of bed, are you breathing? Are you alive? Could you go take a walk today, could those legs carry you anywhere you want... Anywhere you want it to go. Your body is a miracle right now as it is, practice gratitude for your body, start loving yourself right where you're at, and your body will start responding and the people around you will start responding, your kids will see that your friends will see that, your confidence will rub off on them. And imagine the movement we could create if we all just started loving ourselves right now, 30 pounds overweight, 30 pounds underweight, whatever it is, 100 pounds over weight, who cares, you can still love yourself and appreciate your body right now... Right where it is. And that my friends, is the secret to getting a summer body fast, just designing that. You already have one. I

0:25:10.2 S2: Hope that was helpful. You guys, I love you right where you're at. I want the same for you, for you to love you right where you're at. Until we talk again, stay well friends