Quick Tip Tuesday -
You ARE Broken,
and that's OKAY!
Quick Tip Tuesday | You ARE broken, and that's okay!
Vulnerable episode ahead . . .
I hope in this episode you'll hear my heart. I want you to know that no matter how broken you feel, how frustrated, stuck, or "over it" you might be, there is ALWAYS a lesson. In all the bad, and the shitty there is always some good if we're willing to step back and look for it. I hope if we acknowledge that we ALL are in that broken down place at different times, you'll see that you're never alone in the struggle. I hesitated to post this one because I don't ever want you to feel that I would minimize difficulties in your life. Instead I hope you'll hear that the hard stuff can be the catalyst for some of the most beautiful blessings in your life.
Full transcription available at the bottom of this post
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Welcome back to no nonsense wellness! I'm so happy you're here with me today. We're gonna talk about brokenness today, and that might seem like a weird thing, but it'll make a whole lot of sense to you in a second. Before we do, I want to just make sure that you have gone over to Tara Haman dot com and checked out the 12 weeks to weight loss and wellness coaching program, individual and small group coaching for 12 weeks to really give you a thorough understanding of how to use your thoughts and your emotions, and also how to use food and physiology to get you from where you are to where you wanna be, so if you're tired of Yo-yo dieting, if you're tired of trying one thing after another, I'm not getting the long-term results that you want... It's because you need to start thinking about long-term results in sort of quick fixes, and that's what that program is designed to do. I'm so excited to bring it to you, so I really want you to go over there and check it out, the link is gonna be in the show notes, but it's just tarafaulmann.com
Head over there, check it out if you have any questions, there's a little button that you can schedule a coaching call with me to figure out if this is the thing for you. So I encourage you to do that. So you might read the title of this episode and you might have been a little bit triggered... He might have been like, Wait a second, I'm not broken. You're broken. Not me, I'm fine. Or you might have been like, Oh, I feel so broken. You're right. When I say broken, I don't mean like your leg is broken, I mean... I'm talking about the idea that at some point, all of us feel this feeling that my body is broken and it doesn't work, so when it relates to food and diet, you're thinking things like, my body is broken, I'm too old, I'm too fat. No day it's ever gonna work, I'm never gonna lose the weight, I should just give up... Nothing is worth it. This is stupid, I'm just gonna eat all the cake and just say Fuck it, that you just feel like your body is broken, it'll never be fixed, it's never gonna work the way it's supposed to.
For me, with an autoimmune disorder, I felt slightly like that just like, Why can't I eat the things that other people eat? And why can't I live the way other people live? I'm so mad about this. Why am I broken? You could feel physically broken or you could feel emotionally broken, just feeling like, Why can't I get my life together? Why am I sad all the time? Why am I crazy? Why am I yelling? Why do I feel angry? Not under... Just not understanding and just feeling like I've lost my mind and I feel kind of broken, and you might just feel like your life is broken. Maybe you might feel like, How did I get here? What am I doing here? And where am I going? And why am I unhappy in my life... Why have I not figured this out yet? Why is my life broken? I must be broken. So do you understand that concept? Now, there is not a person alive that hasn't felt something like those at some point in their life.
So I really want to normalize brokenness. I decided to do this quick episode for you guys because I was actually writing a different episode and I was going to talk about how you're not broken and your diet is broken, and we are gonna talk about that on Friday, so tune in. But then I started realizing like, Wait a second, it's like, Yeah, you actually are broken, a lot of our poor bodies are broken, they're not working the way they're supposed to, a lot of our mindsets and our thoughts are broken, they're not working. The way that best serves us.
So I was like, Wait a second, I keep trying to convince myself and convince everyone that you're not broken, you're not broken, it's just you're doing the wrong things. Well, that's true, but you are also kind of broken...
It's okay, it's okay, we're all broken a little bit at least, and at different times, so I just wanna really normalize that idea for you and help you understand that I'm broken, you're broken, we're all a little bit broken, and it's okay. Alright, we're all a little crazy. And that's alright. So what we do so often is Get stuck in the brokenness, we commiserate with ourselves in the brokenness, I am worthless and I'm not good enough, my body is never gonna work, this is gonna... There's never gonna be a diet that's gonna help me lose this weight, I'm never gonna feel better, I'm never gonna get my shit together in my life is always gonna be terrible, I'm always gonna be crazy and all over the place, right? We get stuck and we commiserate in these broken thoughts, and what I want you to start to understand is that... Yeah, you're broken. Yeah, you got broken thoughts, yeah, you got a shitty stuff going on, but there's also so much other awesomeness that you are missing because you're stuck in the broken... Have you ever heard the saying that, without the cracks, the light can't get in...
That's how I think of brokenness. When I'm feeling broken in some way, emotionally, physically, mentally, life, I understand that those broken cracks are where the light comes in, and that's just such a more beautiful way to think about it instead of being stuck in the broken... I can focus on the light, how did the light come in through those cracks? So for example, when I was diagnosed with my autoimmune disorder, my body literally was broken, it literally was not functioning, it was very much physically broken and that led emotionally to me feeling broken as well because I just was so down about it, and that brokenness created this opportunity that I know I'm taking advantage, had that never happened, I wouldn't have probably ventured into coaching and health and wellness and nutrition, and having the understanding that I have now, and having the ability to help you guys in the way that I can now. Had I not been broken, I had to be broken so I could be fixed even stronger. Does that make sense? Let's take 2020, the entire year, and think of it as broken, the whole freaking country was broken, right? The entire year, maybe the world, the world broke in 2020, but you know what, because of all those cracks of 2020, I had a lot of light come in, we started homeschooling kids and bringing them up in a Christian home school with an amazing co-op with wonderful women that I now have this amazing community that I'm a part of, and my kids are getting this incredible education that they wouldn't have gotten had 2020 not happened.
My husband used to work every single week out of town, gone every single week, and he hasn't traveled in a year, and that wouldn't have happened had 2020 not broken, so the ability to understand the brokenness except it not blame, not blame yourself for the brokenness, just understand it is what it is, sometimes it's circumstances that we can't change, but I can change my thoughts, I can change my thoughts from focusing on the broken to focusing on the light coming through the cracks because of the broken. So what are your thoughts about... Brokenness, remember, because your thoughts create your emotions, which create your actions or inaction, which create your results, so the brokenness might be just a circumstance for me, I had physical problems that were just a circumstance... It was a fact, I couldn't go back and change it. It is what it was, what it was. I could only change what I did about it, sometimes your brokenness would be more on the thought line, your thoughts are broken, the circumstances the same, your thoughts of both circumstance or what's actually broken. So I really want you to evaluate for yourself, is the circumstance the broken part, or are my thoughts about the circumstance...
The broken part. So going back to my auto-immune disorder, yes, my body was completely broken, but my thoughts about it were also completely broken... Right, once I chose to react differently and think differently about myself about what I could do, about how I could help, about how I could change, then it opened up all the light into the cracks, all the possibility came in because I changed my thoughts about that broken circumstances is your circumstance broken, are your thoughts broken, or both, and then that is going to dictate your emotions, which will dictate your actions, which will dictate your results, so really start to evaluate those broken places and evaluate what you think about those broken places, because if you can stop focusing on the broken, and you can start focusing on the light that's coming into those cracks because of the broken... That makes all the difference in the world. How would it feel if you could rejoice in the light that came because of the broken, how would it feel if you could be grateful for the broken because of the light that came through the cracks, if you could just step back and write down...
And I really, again, I always encourage you to write things down, write down on one side, take a piece of paper, write down on one side, the things that are broken, the thing where you're feeling broken, my thoughts and your emotions, your life, your job, your relationships, your physical... Where are you using? And feeling broken. And then on the right hand side of that paper, I want you to write down all the light that came because of those cracks, maybe you had a physical problem, but because of that physical problem, you changed your career like I did, or maybe you got healthier than you ever were because you had to... 'cause you had to change what you were doing, maybe on the right-hand side, you have some emotional brokenness, some relationship, some past trauma, and how on the right has the light come in because of that brokenness, maybe you've met amazing people, maybe because you were in counseling a child, you became a counselor later in your life, what are the points of light that came through those cracks of the brokenness... I really want you to see the contrast. And then you can focus on the light.
Does that make sense? I hope that was really helpful for you, and I really do encourage you to sit down and actually do that exercise because clarity is the thing that really makes a difference. We don't know where we can go until we understand where we are, and having that clarity about where we're feeling broken and then what amazing things have actually happened, and I know there's not one situation that you will ever be able to write down that some point of light didn't come in that crack because of the brokenness, I guarantee it doesn't exist, there is always light that comes through the cracks, so find it, get clear on it and focus on it, and you'll be a lot happier and the brokenness won't seem like such a big deal and it might even go away... Alright, friends, until next time. Be Well.