It's NOT the Right Time
& Other BS Excuses
I just can't POSSIBLY work on getting healthy right now!
You WANT to get healthy - you think about it all the time - how you need to lose weight, deal with your relationship with food, make healthy changes to your lifestyle.
BUT "Just not right now!" "I have way to many other things to focus on right now"
OR "I just don't have the time!" "I'm so BUSY I couldn't possibly add that too"
I SWEAR "Once x, y, z happens, THEN I'll be able to start"
Sound familiar? We've all used these excuses at different times in our life and you know as well as I do that they're total BS. So why do we do it? Why do we make excuses and put off something we KNOW would be good for us, something we actually WANT?
- Making "not now" excuses takes the pressure off. If gives us temporary relief from feeling like we need to change now if we decide we can do it later at some magical perfect time. Unfortunately that magical "perfect" time never appears.
- What we have built up in our heads about what it will actually take to make "big" health changes overwhelms us and we talk ourselves out of it before we even start. And that's fair, because most of the things we have tried in the past to lose weight and get healthy have sucked, taken a lot of time and mental energy, and the thought of doing it again really DOES just feel like too much.
And more. In this episode we're unpacking our excuses, why we use them, and how to overcome them. I want YOU to take your power back, let's talk about how.
Bottom line: If I told you that you could get healthy, lose weight, and meet your goals and it WOULDN'T feel overwhelming or like "too much", you WOULDN'T need to make excuses, you'd just do it. That's why I created the Healthy Mind, Healthy Body Program. Registration is OPEN and you can start immediately, so go to tarafaulmann.com/join to learn more and get registered!
Full transcription available at the bottom of this post
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Ditch the Diets and Finally Make Peace with Food
If you struggle with yo-yo dieting then you know how hard it is to make any real lasting change. Unfortunately most women get stuck in the belief that being on a diet is the only way to lose weight and get healthy, and when they inevitably fail they’ve destroyed their self esteem, destroyed their relationship with food, and get stuck in a guilt/shame spiral that starts the whole process over again.
If you don’t understand how reprogram your mind that is sabotaging you, and reprogram your body for health, you’ll never make lasting progress.
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Welcome back to the no nonsense wellness Podcast. I'm so happy you're here. You know, over the years, I've heard a lot of reasons. Well, okay, let's be honest, I've also given a lot of reasons about why now is just not the time for me to start something new. Usually that's pertaining to a diet or exercise program. It's just not a good time. That's one of the main reasons I hear. The second reason I hear most often is that I don't have time. It's not the right time, and I don't have time, friends, I gotta be honest, these are BS excuses. So we're going to spend some time today unpacking these for you, so that you can just get over it. Okay, let's go
Welcome back to the no nonsense wellness podcast, the place for women who are trying to do all the things and stay healthy, sane and actually enjoy life in the process. Hey, I'm Tara, a trained therapist, a life coach, a nutrition coach and a fitness instructor. And I bought a mission to help you take back control of your mind health and life. Each week, I'll be cutting through the nonsense and getting real with you. I'll bring you the insight and information you need to take control of your weight and health, find food freedom. And finally break free from the thoughts that are sabotaging you and holding you back. You, my friend are powerful, and the world needs you to start showing up in a bigger way. It's time to get unstuck and start moving forward.
So let's pop in those earbuds, tie up those shoes, let's walk and talk.
Before we get started, I want to remind you that the Healthy Mind Healthy Body program is open, you can register, get in there and get going immediately. So go to tarafaulmann.com/jjoin, read all about it and register there. This is a program that is designed to help you end restrictive diets forever, no more crazy programs just getting healthy for good for the last time. If you want to stop overeating, stop self sabotaging, and gain confidence in your ability to deal with food, your body, with your life, then you're going to want to check out this program. When you join, you immediately get the full course. And you have three months access to the coaching membership for free. That's weekly coaching for me, access to me and the other members to hold your hand, cheer you on, coach you through the tough stuff, help you problem solve, help you get unstuck. This is the place that you want to be if you're done with diets, and you finally want results that last. So I hope you check it out. Tara faulmann.com/join.
Okay, today we're talking about the two main excuses that we use so that we don't have to start something new. And yes, I mean to say that so we don't have to start something new. So often we decide we want something right, we dream about it, we dream about losing the weight, fitting into the clothes, feeling healthy, feeling in control, we dream about it. But as soon as we start really thinking about it and really dreaming about it, what does our brain immediately do? Immediately our brain starts thinking of all the reasons why that will never happen, why it won't work, why we can't have that thing, why it didn't work before, and it won't work now, why it will be impossible for us to achieve that thing that we want. Isn't that true? Doesn't your brain automatically think of all the reasons why this won't work? And then we start inventing stories in our head about, well, if once this thing is out of the way or that thing or the other thing, once those are out of the way and I'm not dealing with them, then I could actually do this thing, then would be the quote unquote perfect time to get started. If I wasn't dealing with this stuff already.
We assume that there is some perfect time in the future when somehow all the stars will magically align. It'll be just the right time to do this thing. And then we have a lot of stories about well, I can't do it now. Because it's summertime. Well, I can't do it now because we have a vacation coming up and I'm not going to stick to a diet on vacation or I'm going to stick to that plan on vacation. Spring break is coming up. I can't start now the kids are got me running around doing this and that Oh, I can't start now. I'm too busy with this work thing. Oh, I just don't have the bandwidth to start that thing now. Right. Story after story after story. What we're talking about today is those stories. Why those stories are total BS, but why we seem to always fall back on those stories as a reason why we can't do the thing that we say we want to do that we dream about doing that we really, really want. But we use these excuses to stop ourselves. So let's talk about the first one, it's not the right time, when you use the excuse that it's not the right time, what you're actually meaning is that it's not the perfect time, you need everything to be just right. And just so before you decide, it's the perfect time, and I can actually devote myself to making this change.
Spoiler alert, there will never be a perfect time. That simply does not exist. What there is, though, is a time when you get so fed up with yourself that you decide to just do it, I guarantee that time is not going to fit the time that you think is the “perfect”, time, the time that you decide, I am so sick of myself and my BS that I'm just going to do the dang thing that is not even remotely close to what you have decided as a perfect time. But it ends up being the time. Does that make sense? The belief that you have to wait for the right time is just a trap that keeps you stuck. And it's really disempowering. It's taking the control out of your hands of deciding what's going to be right for you. And it's putting power and control into all of these life circumstances that a lot of them you don't actually have any control over life is going to keep happening, you can't stop that. And so if you are somehow waiting for all these external circumstances to line up in the magical, perfect way, it takes all the control away from you, you can't make that happen. So instead of giving the power away all the time, we need to take the power back.
What if you took all those things in your life that are hard, all those things that you're using as excuses as why it's not the right time? Because I'm dealing with this and this is going on? And this is taking up my time? What if instead of using all those as excuses, you actually used all of those things as reasons. Let me give you some examples. You might think, oh, it's hard right now, because I just don't have the energy. Like I'm just dealing with so many other things. I just don't have the energy to deal with this. What if instead of using ``I don't have the energy” as an excuse to not start, what if you used “I don't have the energy” as the reason I really should start this healthy eating plan. I really should start this diet. I really should start this, that, or the other. Because I don't have energy. And I would like energy. And I think this would help me get some. Does that make sense? How about this? Oh, I don't want to start a fitness plan right now because I'm too overweight and I'm embarrassed to go to the gym. Okay, what if instead of using embarrassment to go to the gym as an excuse to not start? What have you started using that as a reason to start? I'm embarrassed to go to the gym, that should clue me in that I am fed up with myself. I don't like how I look right now. I should be doing something about it. Does that make sense? What have you turned your excuses into the actual reasons that you started the dang thing? How would losing weight or getting healthier get rid of some of these excuses? If you're stopping yourself from taking the steps to get healthy because of reasons that you are already not healthy, how would getting healthy eliminate those excuses for you? How would getting healthy and taking care of yourself make it easier to deal with the hard stuff? You say you can't start because there's too much hard stuff in your way? How would starting and actually getting results and getting healthy, clear the path, get rid of some of the hard stuff? Does that make sense, we need to really just shift our thinking here. And that's truly what this is all about.
The other thing I want you to think about is that you have to choose to do things during the hard. Listen, life is hard. It's never going to stop being hard. You have to choose to do hard things. You have to choose to make change during the hard. And if you can make change during the hard, you can do anything. You can do anything. life's gonna keep coming at you. For a lot of you right now. It's like the end of the school year. It's super busy. Like when my kids were in public school. I remember for some reason, in the last month of school, they pack every single possible thing that you need to come into the school and do and see and be a part of. It's like all in the last month of school. I know it's a busy time of year for a lot of people. Wouldn't it be nice if you could learn how to manage yourself and take care of yourself during the busiest times of your year. If you could learn that skill. You could do anything. If you could learn how to do the hard during the hard. You literally can tackle anything and the only thing that's required is changing your thinking. Here's something else I hear a lot. It's the idea of I just can't add one more thing you Listen, friend, that is BS. And you know it because what we're talking about here is health strategies, right? I'm not talking about adding one more thing like an extra job. I'm talking about getting healthy. I'm talking about losing weight. And you're saying you can't add one more thing. Here's why you're saying that. The one more thing that you're thinking of adding when it comes to getting healthy is some kind of crazy restrictive diet, some kind of new hard workout program that requires you to work out twice a day and do all these crazy things you've never done before. And it feels like too much. Why? Because maybe it is too much. The thing you're thinking of, to add one more thing feels like a lot.
And that really kind of takes us to the next reason, the next big excuse that we give the I don't have time excuse. Because when you think of starting a new diet, starting a new diet does feel like a lot, starting a new diet does take a lot of time. And not just actual physical time. But like mental energy thinking time, diets are hard. So it's no wonder we feel overwhelmed by even thinking about starting a new one. When we think about losing weight, we think about all the awful things that we're going to have to do in order to do that. And we think about all the things we've tried before and how much time they did take to do that. And it just feels like oh, I don't want to go through that. Again. It feels like too much. It feels like I don't have time to deal with us because it feels like a lot. This is precisely why I don't teach traditional diets in healthy mind Healthy Body program, I teach you how to think, I teach you how to not have what you're eating all day, consume every thought and all your time and all your mental energy, I teach you how to make it not feel like a lot. There's a big difference. If you knew that, oh, if I start this program, and it won't feel like a lot, it'll feel super doable. You would not have an excuse of “I don't have time” or “it's not the right time”. You'd be like, okay, yeah, let's do that. Part of the problem is not just that you're making the excuse, it's why you know, you are making the excuse, you're making the excuse, because in the past, you've been shown that it does take a long time. It is hard, it sucks. It's not enjoyable. And I'm thinking about food all day long. We've usually talked ourselves out of it before we even start because traditional diet stuff is hard. That's why I do it differently.
Here's something else to think about. When we say we don't have time for something, it's often because we're afraid, we're afraid because it sounds really hard. And we don't want to admit it. We don't want to admit to ourselves that we're kind of afraid of doing a hard thing. And more we're afraid of doing the hard thing and failing at it, we're afraid that we won't get the outcome, we're afraid that we won't stick to it, we're afraid that it won't work. And so when we say that we don't have time, or it's not the right time, a lot of times it's really because we're just afraid that it's not going to work. And we don't want to commit to something that's not going to work. When we say that we don't have time when we say no for really any excuse, it gives us some immediate relief from that fear, right? If I am kind of afraid of like, I don't know, if it's gonna work. I don't know if I want to commit myself to this. Again, when we say I don't have time when we give an excuse. It gives us some relief. Like, I don't have to deal with this right now. I don't have to deal with all these thoughts and all these emotions and all this hard stuff. I just don't have to deal with it. Because I said I don't have time. I don't have time. It gives us some immediate relief.
But what you need to understand is that that relief is very temporary. Because what happens immediately, you're scrolling social media and your friends started this diet and you're this person lost this way and this gurus talking about this diet and this program and this fitness thing and this thing and that thing. And you were just going to be inundated and what are you going to start thinking about again, it didn't go away the desire, the need, the want, to lose the weight to get healthy to make those changes. It didn't go away, you just gave yourself a temporary reprieve to not have to think about right now because you decided you didn't have time. But it's gonna come back when it comes to things that you're dealing with that you don't want to do. But you know, there's only two ways out of that. Number one is to put it off, right? temporary relief, but it ultimately comes back and you're right back where you started. Or you just do the dang thing. However, that looks it does not have to look the same way that it's looked before though.
I want to put another excuse in this section too, because I hear it a lot and it's just that idea of the kids make it really hard or I can't because the kids are doing all these things for the kids and I just don't have time for myself. Friend. You're her kids are not the problem, stop putting this on them that is entirely unfair. And it also removes your power and puts it in their hands. Instead of you maintaining your power to make positive choices for yourself, your crappy thinking and your poor planning or the problem, your children are not the problem, stop using them as an excuse. But if you are the problem, if your crappy thinking and your poor planning are the problem, well, now you can do something about it. If your kids are the problem, you're gonna have to figure out how to get rid of your kids in order to solve this problem. So I don't know what you're going to do. But if you decide my kids are not the problem, I am the problem. I now have the power to change the problem, I can do that. You can and you must take care of you and your kids at the same time. That is totally possible. But you have to decide that it's possible and you have to take back control for yourself, your actions, your decisions, your thoughts, stop using your kids in it as an excuse and put it back on you where it belongs. Okay, how's that feel? I hope that stung a little bit. If you've used that as an excuse before, your kids are not the problem, you are the problem. And you can solve the problem when you are the problem. Does that make sense?
One trick I learned a long time ago that really hurt but also really helped was this. So if I if there's something that I want, but I'm using excuses like oh, the kids make it so hard, or oh, I don't have time or Oh, it's not the right time. What I want you to say instead is that's not a priority for me. So if you are thinking about dreaming about wondering about, I really want to lose weight, I really want to get healthy, I really need to change these eating patterns, I really need to get a hold of this thing. I really need to make this change. And then you just start making excuses. I want you to say but I'm not gonna make that change right now. Because it's not a priority for me. If you say that it's not a priority for you, and it feels good. Go with it. If you can honestly say that is not a priority for for me right now. And I am okay with that. Great, go with that. But if you say my health is not a priority for me right now, and it feels crappy when you say that, you're making an excuse to not make the change, you know, you need to make. So ask yourself, when you hear yourself making excuses, say I am not choosing to do this right now. Because it is not a priority for me. And if that feels like crap, then it is a priority for you. And you need to figure out how to do it and stop making the excuses.
What it comes down to is this: Do you really want to be someone who just allows the circumstances of your life to determine your outcome? Or do you want to be someone who is in control? Do you want to be someone who makes the choice to define your circumstances differently? Do you want to be someone who controls your own thoughts? Who decides how you're going to think about a circumstance to decide how you are going to proceed at any given time, or you just want to let your life be decided by other people's whims and the world's circumstances and all the life that keeps happening to you? Is that going to define you? Is that going to determine your outcome? Or are you going to determine your outcome? That's a choice you have to make. And that is the choice you have the power to make. But you have to make it and Listen friend, not making it as making it making an excuse to not do things you know you want to and should be doing for your own health that's on you. That is a choice. I don't blame you for feeling dread and making excuses for not wanting to start another diet. I don't want to start another diet either.
I hate diets. I don't like how I feel when I'm trying to do it. But here's the thing I want you to see if you're doing this right if if you're doing the “getting healthy” thing, right, you are not constantly thinking about food. You are not overthinking every single thing that you put in your mouth, you are not constantly concerned with Am I doing this right? Is it going to work? Can I stick to this? That's not the right way to do this for long term health, weight loss, longevity, all the things that you want. I don't teach you how to diet and the Healthy Mind Healthy Body program. I teach you how to live and do that in a healthy way and in a sustainable way, a way that fits your life in a way that gets you the results that you want that last there is a huge difference. So like I said before, when you think about, oh, this diet just seems so overwhelming. I don't have time for that. I don't have the bandwidth for that. It's not a good time for me. It's because we're thinking about doing the wrong things. If you're doing the right things, then you are not thinking about food all day. You're not overthinking every single thing you put in your mouth. You're not always being concerned with Am I doing this? Right? That's dieting the wrong way. I want to teach you this the right way. I want to teach you how to get the results you want the right way. So if that sounds good to you, again, hop in there tarafaulmann.com/join, check out the program, get registered, get the membership, start coaching with me. And we can really get you to where you want to be in a way that feels good. That feels right, that feels doable, and not overwhelming. I hope this was helpful for you friends, I hope it was a little bit of tough love. I hope I called you out on a few things and a few excuses that you make and why you don't need to make them. Because ultimately what I want for you is to make the choices that put you in the driver's seat. I want you to be the driver of the outcomes in your life, not just having life always happen to you. That's a skill that requires practice that I want you to learn. Alright, until we talk again, my friends, be well.
Friends, thanks so much for being here. If you found value in today's episode, will you do me a favor and head over to iTunes? Find the no nonsense wellness podcast and subscribe and leave me a review. It would mean the world to me and help other people find the show. And I'd love to connect with you more. So find me on Instagram. @tarafaulmann. Take a screenshot of this episode and share it in your stories and tag me. I'll see you over there.